Saturday, 18 December 2010

Not original but well worth a second viewing

My apologies to whoever it was first wrote this piece, it may well have been Father Z,  I don't know; I copied it at the time, adapted it slightly and then filed it away never ever believing that I might enter the scene as a blogger at a later date.
So I am not claiming authorship and, sorry yet again that I cannot link back to the original.

50 Reasons to be Catholic

                         1. We are not emergent, we are eternal
                         2. We have Cardinal Zen
                         3. And Cardinal Sin
                         4. We are not liberal, we love our neighbour
                         5. We do not use the words ‘clown’ and ‘eucharist’ in
                             the same sentence
                          6. We are not conservative, we look to God alone
                          7. Bells….bells….and more bells
                           8. We have a cloistered nun as the patron saint of
                               missionaries (St Therese de Lisieux)
                           9. Announcements of our faith halt the conversation
                               at dinner parties
                     10. The only religion responsible for the smallest
                           nation state
                     11. We have confession – much cheaper than
                            a psychologist
                     12. We have the Swiss Guards and their uniforms
                     13. Catholic morality gives politicians headaches
                     14. Ash Wednesday can’t be exploited by McDonalds
                           or the greetings card industry
                     15. Our liturgy gives Freemasons indigestion
                     16. St Jerome is the patron saint of anger – hope for us all
                     17. Because when you have tacky statues etc you
                           know you must be in the one true Church
                      18. We know what cherubim and seraphim are
                      19. Palestrina
                      20. St Lawrence (while being burnt to death –
                           “turn me over;   I’m done on this side”)
                      21. Incense smells better than cigar smoke
                      22. The litany of saints has the best names for
                            your children
                      23. People do not tour Europe looking at great Protestant
                            Cathedrals do they?
                      24. We love beauty, ritual and ceremony and
                            are proud of it
                      25. The Latin Mass is the same the world over
                      26. Candles
                      27. If you become a saint parts of your body may
                            become relics
                      28. We use phrases such as ‘supernatural existential’, 
                            ‘diochronicity’ and ‘the hermeneutic of continuity’
                      29. Mystery is more than a section in the local library
                      30. We have blessings and Masses to cope with plagues 
                            of  frogs, illnesses, heresy etc etc
                      31. We say the black and do the red
                      32. We don’t call our priests ‘Jim’ or ‘Eric’
                      33. We have a St Bobo, St Bean and St Quadragesimus
                      34. Pope Benedict XVI
                      35. St Paul who said: ‘a little wine for thy stomach’s sake’
                      36. Orange is not a liturgical colour in the Catholic Church
                      37. No other denomination buries statues
                            or prays in order to sell a house
                      38. Fish is good for you
                      39. We use a dead language and don’t give a damn!
                      40. No hand puppets, tambourines, clowns,
                            guitars or dancing allowed in the liturgy
                      41. No crèches in Church, infants stay with us for Mass
                      42. If you are shy you can be a contemplative
                      43. We believe that a state of Grace is a
                            condition of the soul, not part of the USA
                      44. Our religious orders pray during both
                            the night and the day
                      45. With Our Lady and St Michael, no demons
                            can touch us
                      46. Thuribles
                      47. Vestments that look as though they are
                            intended for the worship of God, not as if they
                            were the work of demented seamstresses
                            high on drugs
                     48. A liturgy that does not patronise
                     49. The blessing of the throats (February 3nd)
                     50. Angels


  1. I have a psychologist & a Confessor!!!

  2. I like tambourines and dancing as Praise in the right setting.(I also like proper vestments and plainsong and I can sing psalms properly)

  3. Diddleymaz...I agree, I like tambourines and dancing also................down the pub :)

  4. Richard, I love this! Mahalo for sharing!

  5. Thank you Esther, enjoying your blog immensely.
    God bless.