Dear Noah.....

I think it's time to lighten up a little - these come mainly from my dear sister, Imelda:-

Dear Noah.....

"Yours was the only kind face we found" - The Mosquitos

"Sorr-y! should have written sooner" - The Sloths

"Really appreciated the fishing ban" - The Maggots

"We especially enjoyed the poker tournament" - The Cheetahs

"Glad you didn't find us boring" - The Woodworms

"We never expected a private cabin"  - The Skunks

"Keep the nest, if you can find a use for it" - The Crows

"The Ham sandwiches were delicious" - The Lions

"Could have sworn you said 5.30" - The Unicorns

A little Catholic humour

A well known atheist was walking through the woods one day when he was confronted by a savage looking bear.

Turning, he fled in fear of his life. Within a few seconds the bear had outrun him and with one paw pinned him to the ground whilst the other, was poised to strike the mortal blow.

"Oh God" screamed the atheist.

Instantly, the bear froze as time stood still.

And then, a voice from above said: "You called me?"

"Oh", said the atheist, "So you really do exist, could you make this bear go away please? (he was a very polite atheist).

"But why should I?" said God. "You've been denying my existence all your life".

"That's a very fair point" said the atheist, thinking quickly. 

"Do you think perhaps that you could turn the bear into a Christian instead?"

"Yes, my son, I can certainly do that for you", said the Almighty.

Instantly, the bear became animated once more, halted its attack, placed its paws together and said: "Bless us O Lord.......".

Have you visited Trollbridge?

I have just come across a wonderfully funny and refreshing blog all about Cardinal Vogon Memorial School...hmmm.....name seems vaguely familiar.

If you are a liberal, politically correct Catholic twit, please do not go HERE

Misinterpreting the Faith

"Asparagus me..............."

There were some excellent additions to my 12th January post regarding misinterpretations of the faith - all of them funnier than my originals.

Here they are.....

'Asparagus me.....' - is courtesy of Sandy at A Catholic Comes Home (whom I wish would post more)

Purgatory - Left Footer states that it is neither a laxative nor an anti-Conservative witch-hunt.

Lauds - not for cricket, more for early morning prayer according to Porta Caeli

Fr Whelan states that the Barque of Peter is not an angry growl from the Pope

Webmaster Gareth, another Papal one -And, if the Popes don't like something they don't say, "Let him have Asthma"

Fr Abberton (Stella Maris) says -  the dialogue on entering the Confessional is NOT, "Bless me Father, for you have sinned"! And the humeral veil is not funny

The Little Way (with a French bias) - And the Confiteor is a prayer confessing sinfulness, not a person with a penchant for roasting duck.

Tony Layne - pithy as ever - The mantilla can't be found over a small fireplace

And Compline is not a powdered milk nutritional supplement available in a range of delicious flavours...states Mark at Joe Versus the Volcano 

It's true...Catholics are a funny lot!

And to prove it Fr James Martin SJ has written a piece on Catholic humour (or humor as he mistakenly spells it!).
It is a fine piece and the views expressed are sound but....most important of all, some Catholic bloggers need reminding that we should have a sense of humour, sorry, humor, and that, in itself,  is a very good thing. Click on the link at the end of this post.

And my contribution comes as:

"What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and a charismatic?"

Answer: "A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own"

That should fill the combox up nicely.

http://www.osv.com/tabid/7621/itemid/8410/How-you-can-develop-a-Catholic-sense-of-humor.aspx

A new addition to my blog list

Those bloggers who feature on my blog list are all excellent; I only place blogs on the list that are good and true to the Catholic Faith.

I do not normally highlight any one particular blog but today I am making an exception. Mundabor's Blog is, in my opinion, one of the very best in terms of dry humour, traditional clarity and topicality.

So there. Please visit Mundabor...he is Italian...but not in the Berlusconi mould!

Not original but well worth a second viewing

My apologies to whoever it was first wrote this piece, it may well have been Father Z,  I don't know; I copied it at the time, adapted it slightly and then filed it away never ever believing that I might enter the scene as a blogger at a later date.
So I am not claiming authorship and, sorry yet again that I cannot link back to the original.

50 Reasons to be Catholic

                         1. We are not emergent, we are eternal

                         2. We have Cardinal Zen

                         3. And Cardinal Sin

                         4. We are not liberal, we love our neighbour

                         5. We do not use the words ‘clown’ and ‘eucharist’ in
                             the same sentence

                          6. We are not conservative, we look to God alone

                          7. Bells….bells….and more bells

                           8. We have a cloistered nun as the patron saint of
                               missionaries (St Therese de Lisieux)

                           9. Announcements of our faith halt the conversation
                               at dinner parties

                     10. The only religion responsible for the smallest
                           nation state

                     11. We have confession – much cheaper than
                            a psychologist

                     12. We have the Swiss Guards and their uniforms

                     13. Catholic morality gives politicians headaches

                     14. Ash Wednesday can’t be exploited by McDonalds
                           or the greetings card industry

                     15. Our liturgy gives Freemasons indigestion

                     16. St Jerome is the patron saint of anger – hope for us all

                     17. Because when you have tacky statues etc you
                           know you must be in the one true Church

                      18. We know what cherubim and seraphim are

                      19. Palestrina

                      20. St Lawrence (while being burnt to death –
                           “turn me over;   I’m done on this side”)

                      21. Incense smells better than cigar smoke

                      22. The litany of saints has the best names for
                            your children

                      23. People do not tour Europe looking at great Protestant

                            Cathedrals do they?

                      24. We love beauty, ritual and ceremony and
                            are proud of it

                      25. The Latin Mass is the same the world over

                      26. Candles

                      27. If you become a saint parts of your body may
                            become relics

                      28. We use phrases such as ‘supernatural existential’, 

                            ‘diochronicity’ and ‘the hermeneutic of continuity’

                      29. Mystery is more than a section in the local library

                      30. We have blessings and Masses to cope with plagues 

                            of  frogs, illnesses, heresy etc etc

                      31. We say the black and do the red

                      32. We don’t call our priests ‘Jim’ or ‘Eric’

                      33. We have a St Bobo, St Bean and St Quadragesimus

                      34. Pope Benedict XVI

                      35. St Paul who said: ‘a little wine for thy stomach’s sake’

                      36. Orange is not a liturgical colour in the Catholic Church

                      37. No other denomination buries statues
                            or prays in order to sell a house

                      38. Fish is good for you

                      39. We use a dead language and don’t give a damn!

                      40. No hand puppets, tambourines, clowns,
                            guitars or dancing allowed in the liturgy

                      41. No crèches in Church, infants stay with us for Mass

                      42. If you are shy you can be a contemplative

                      43. We believe that a state of Grace is a
                            condition of the soul, not part of the USA

                      44. Our religious orders pray during both
                            the night and the day

                      45. With Our Lady and St Michael, no demons
                            can touch us

                      46. Thuribles

                      47. Vestments that look as though they are
                            intended for the worship of God, not as if they
                            were the work of demented seamstresses
                            high on drugs

                     48. A liturgy that does not patronise

                     49. The blessing of the throats (February 3^nd)

                     50. Angels