Wednesday, 27 February 2013

It's a hard concept to grasp (according to The Daily Telegraph)

Yes, it's going to cause chaos and confusion, the days of the two popes are back with us again and (panic, panic) how will the Vatican and the wider world cope?

In mean two will we tell them apart?

They will both be wearing white (horror of horrors)

They will both be male (sorry LGBTs)

And they will both celebrate the Mass on a daily basis (swoon)

                                               After tomorrow this  man will not be the Pope                                      

                                                        In a few week's time the Pope may     
                                                         look like this, but a little chubbier

OK, OK, settle down media pundits; here is how it will work:-

Pope Benedict XVI (after tomorrow) will be known as Pope Emeritus (not 'The Pope' and not 'The Holy Father'

His successor, (hopefully a rather amiable and holy American Cardinal), will be the one wearing the red shoes.

He will also speak with an American rather than a German accent (Deo volente)

He will be addressed as "Your Holiness" referred to as 'The Pope' or 'The Holy Father' and he will be the one not eating bratwurst.

They will live not too far apart from each other but reports so far indicate that Fr Lombardi, Vatican PRO will be issuing photofits of each so that the Bishops of England and Wales can be absolutely sure that the person they are slagging off is definitely THE POPE.


  1. How did we manage all that time that Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother was alive after her daughter had ascended to the throne? Or the couple of years that in addition, her Majesty Queen Mary was still alive?

  2. The next Pope may even call himself Benedict XVII, thus totally confusing the innumerate.

  3. And the next Pope will live in the Big House and will have to call his brothers and sisters on an intercontinental telephone or email to an address outside of europe.
    Benedict XVII -great,that would really upset Dawkins ,Robertson and the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's relIgious affairs editor Stephen-"I am LGBT and alasped Catholic-'Crittenden

  4. I've not got round to this one.Thanks Richard.Now I won't have to I've been hanging out somewhere where we are still discussing and wondering "what is the matter with Damian"? Hiya Eccles.