Saturday, 16 February 2013

86 year old CEO to resign

In a surprise move the 86 year old chief Executive of ICI (International Cheese Industries) has announced his resignation and will leave the corporation at the end of the month.

Shareholders of the company are outraged and scandalised that their CEO is leaving, despite the fact that he has worked for more than twenty years past the commercial retirement age and has a variety of severe health conditions.

Many employees of ICI are, however, are pleased at the news on the grounds that the Chief Exec has made life distinctly uncomfortable for them by leading them back to the company's core mission statement:

"To produce the best of cheeses, faithful to original recipes".

        Unbeatable. The company's original mature cheese is making a comeback

    ICI's low in flavour cheese is popular with the mass market
 (but not the EF Mass market)

Production Manager, Casey Conroy, complained that:

"We like producing soft, low flavour cheeses and our customers, who have lost all sense of taste, like them also.
But, for the past eight years we have been told to produce our original cheese range that is high on flavour, it's called 'The Extraordinary Flavour' range.
Now, with a new CEO we are hoping we can go back to the bland methods of production that we perfected in the 1960s."

Shares in the company have slumped as the media has entered into mindless speculation as to the reasons for the CEO's departure and have missed the major issues such as the company's Succession Planning policy known as the 'Paraclete' method.
This policy was designed to be flawless and is what the company PRO describes as a 'black and white' procedure:

"Sometimes we get black smoke and sometimes we get white"


  1. Very Good One.Thanks for doing good. People who do proper good really do make a difference.

  2. All together now:
    "What a friend we have in Cheeses.."

  3. Not an apt analogy!

  4. Hunted Priest,..It made me laugh.

  5. So funny and clever, Its Sunday, we can laugh on Sundays in Lent.

  6. I'm still laughing about Cheeses!

    Or as Cincinnatus (sorry; it is too long):


    When Cincinnatus in a desperate time
    Was called to serve the undeserving state
    Imperiled by the armies of the kings
    And weakened by senatorial whisperings
    Our conscript father laid aside the plough
    Forswore retirement and his peaceful fields
    Unwillingly took up the imperium
    And journeyed thus to disharmonious Rome
    To teach, to govern, and to sanctify
    A people lost and drifting with the age
    To hazard all in the forum of the world
    Not for himself, not for brittle applause
    Blown by the wind, noisy for a brief time
    As when October’s leaves make temporal show
    And then decay through winter’s cold demands
    Nor for the silky smiles of ambassadors
    The approval of jugglers and panderers
    The cricket-voices of mummers and polls
    But rather for the fuller at his cloth
    The builder with his plans and rule and line
    The seamstress working a wedding dress
    The laughing child at play with her favorite doll
    The sunburnt fisherman drawing his nets
    The mother teaching her child his aves
    The farmer treading the fruitful furrow
    The humble priest offering holy rites
    The parish tipstaff on his daily beat
    The scrivener with his busy abacus
    The chemist with his pots and potions and pills
    The healer, whose pallid patients are her prayers
    The artist, whose lines and colors delight
    The barrister, pleading for true justice
    The magister lettering inattentive youths
    The woman whose shop displays good, homely needs
    The sick man on his penitential bed
    The young recruit on obscure weary watch
    The wretched beggar who gives holy blessings
    For these a Cincinnatus offered all
    Repute, honor, perhaps his very life
    And when, withered with age and cares of rule
    Painfully unsure of step and sight and self
    He wisely, humbly left the robes of office
    In prayerful trust to the Will of God
    And wearily wended to the Altar of beginnings
    To give himself and his last days to us
    Still serving, bidding for us with priestly heart
    Let none he faithfully serves question his prayers
    Or mock him with idle speculations
    For flattering courtiers are as common as smiles
    Painted upon false lips, hiding false desirings
    And leaders arise from time to time to draft
    Houris to their beds and youths to their deaths
    And, too, the successors of Simon Magus
    Pirouetting in their temples to self
    But Cincinnatus – O happy Cincinnatus
    Whose memory is incense in the night
    Or a candle in the holy darkness:
    His Tenebrae is our continued blessing

  7. Great post Richard. I really like cheese, but not the sort that tastes like soap, nor the bland,tasteless variety. Give me EF (extraordinary flavour) every time.