How to be a 'U' Catholic in ten easy lessons

'U' or 'Non-U' - which are you?

                                               

Recently, Annie Elizabeth at Defende nos in Proelio blog, wrote a post that touched on the now forgotten (alas) social etiquette guide of 'U' and 'Non-U'.

Now for those of a certain youthful age, let me explain the intricacies of 'U' and 'Non-U'.

This test, for want of a better word, was introduced by Socialite, Nancy Mitford and the 'U' stood for Upper Class, or Non Upper Class in the case of 'Non-U'.

So, words and actions became designated as such.

Those who lean to the liberal left will, by now, be sneering at such upper class twaddle but I have always been led to believe that this distinction between what was upper and lower class had its roots in love for one's fellow man.

How so?

Because, there is in life, a right way and a wrong way of saying and doing things.

Therefore, to use the word 'serviette' would be classed as 'Non-U' and incorrect, whereas 'napkin' is 'U' and right.

When eating soup it is 'U' to scoop with the spoon going away from you rather than bringing it towards you which is trés  'Non-U'.

Please stay with me here, I am now getting to why it has good sense and charity at its heart.

If there is no common code of good manners, then that leaves the person who drinks their tea from the saucer liable to uncharitable jeers and snide remarks from their peers.

On the other hand, if there is a clear definition of right and wrong, then it is up to the individual to choose as to whether to follow the accepted and acceptable pattern.

One 'Non U' thing that drives Mrs Linen to distraction is the way people hold their knives and forks (and, here, please note that this is purely for the benefit of British readers and I beg forgiveness of any of my American friends who may see this. It is a well known fact that Americans use a fork as a knife and a knife as a...well, you don't want to know that).

The thing Mrs L gets feverish over is when people hold a knife and fork as they would hold a pen; and I quite agree with her.

So now apply this code to the Catholic Faith where we have the situation of many poor, ignorant, liberal Catholics who have forgotten (if they ever knew it) how to behave at Mass.

Purely as an act of Christian charity I have compiled a list of all the 'Non-U' elements that may arise when attending Holy Mass.

Here it is:-


       'NON U'                                                                  

1. Talking in Church                                                  

2.  Not wearing a mantilla (females) or wearing a hat (males)                                          
3.  Chewing gum

4. Wearing short skirts and upper wear that reveals arms from shoulder to cuff (females) and shorts and tee shirts (males)

5. Failing to acknowledge the Blessed Sacrament when you enter or leave your pew (bowing is a definite no-no, most 'Non-U').

6. Receiving Holy Communion standing and in the hand

7. Clapping in Church

8. Females serving on the altar

9. Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion

10. Buying a copy of The Tablet

Avoid all of those and you are on track to becoming a better Catholic -
a 'U' Catholic!