The deacon, the dog and the parish liturgist

Tony was a little mad and had poor bladder
control, but the PP loved him

Time to lighten up, I can only take so much of the current apprehension and concern.

Yesterday, I travelled from West to East, to Kent, in fact.

And back again the same day.

18 plus hours stuck on various trains in appalling levels of heat and humidity.

With plenty of time on my hands I tried to think of some subjects for future posts but, all the while,  this old story kept running through my mind.

I've polished it up a bit and given it a good dusting and I still laugh at it after all these years, and I'm allowed to laugh because it's not my joke.

Here it is:-

A young Deacon was reversing his car up the Presbytery driveway when his foot slipped off the brake and on to the accelerator (gas).

The car shot backwards and, in so doing, ran over the beloved pet of the Parish Priest, his faithful dog, Tony.

The Deacon leapt from the car and was appalled at what he had done, the shredded remains of poor Tony lay at his feet.

"What am I to do?" he wailed, falling on his knees and holding his head in both hands.

"My PP will be devastated at the loss of his dog and I am guilty of this crime"

As he wailed and moaned he noticed something glinting in the shrubbery.

He went over to look and picked up a very old brass urn. As he was giving it a rub with his sleeve, a great cloud of smoke belched out from the urn and there, in the midst of it was a Genie.

"Oh your most Reverend Mr Holiness" the Genie said; "I am here to grant you one wish, just say the word and anything that you want in the whole world will be yours."

"Well" said the Deacon thinking rapidly, "I would really like you to put this poor dog back together again and bring him to life so that the PP will not be upset at his loss and give me a good spiritual kicking"

"Certainly your reverenceness" said the Genie, "Let me take a look at the poor beast"

"Oh dearie me" said the Genie. "What an awful mess this dog is, I'm afraid that it is beyond even my considerable powers to breathe life into this poor mutt - do you have another request that I could attend to instead?"

The Deacon sighed at having good fortune snatched away from him and then thought of a second wish.

"There is something" he said. "It concerns our Parish Liturgist. Do you think that you could make her less of a feminist dragon and more of a reverent and good soul please?"

The Genie thought for a split second and then said: "Let's take another look at that dog shall we?"