Saturday, 24 September 2011

Welcome to hell - have a nice eternity!

You're enjoying your life, you are successful, have plenty of money, a fast car, house in the stockbroker belt, 3 children and a beautiful wife...pretty damn good eh?

Only trouble is, you no longer practice your faith (well you do go to Midnight Mass at Christmas and you do give the children Easter Eggs) and, to cap it all you have had an affair at the office (over now, of course) and you did have to stick the knife in on Johnson in Marketing  so that he got the push and you got his job - but then, that's business isn't it?
Confession is just a distant memory and the reception of Holy Communion, likewise.

And then, just as you are en route to a meeting that could result in a massive bonus for you - Wham! Crash! Bang! - you have just stepped out in front of an eight ton London Transport Bus and you are mutton, deceased, dead as a parrot.

Now you are coming to...aaargh! blinded by a bright light and then the vision and then...ten seconds are in HELL!

Come on in, things are just hotting up!

Reality begins to set are here for eternity, like forever....longer than forever...and there's no get out of jail card, no plea bargaining, no time off for good behaviour...just eternal fire, demons, souls in agony, torments, tortures....pain, humiliation, degradation, no day or night just sheer hell.

H/T to Fr Z for his one liner on the subject that set my mind racing.
Like most people, my faith is a bit of a struggle at times but I have never wavered from the fear of the prospect of eternal damnation brought down on my own head by my own deeds.

I have weighed up the various options (like missing Mass on Sundays or robbing a bank) but alway, always come to the conclusion that the effort to stay in a state of grace is so well and truly worth it.

What kind of omadhaun would play Russian roulette with a revolver that has all the chambers full?

 Not me.

Regular Confession, Mass and Holy Communion - no worries mate!
 As they say in New Holland.

See also Fr Dwight Longenecker's post

BTW - a typo on Fr Z's post regarding Fr Ray Blake and his attack by the homosexual lobby - the headline reads:
"Fr Blake of Brighton taking flake (sic) from bullies for being Catholic"

'flake' huh?  is that the homosexual version of flak?


  1. The thing is ... is Johnson from Marketing in hell with me or not? That would make it really intolerable! (Either way, I guess).

    God bless.

  2. Yes, Johnson will be there. In fact, multiple clones of Johnson will surround you for eternity, of them smiling a very nasty smile. That will be the Hell of it!
    Crikey, time I went to Confession.

  3. We need men like you in our pulpits, Richard!

    Thank you for this strangely enjoyable post!

  4. I think this post would have worked better with sound effects.

  5. Someone once said that San Francisco is like granola — "Take away the fruits and the nuts, and all you have left are the flakes."

    Alas, I fear they're not precisely flakes, but rather (as The Blogger Who Must Not Be Named calls them) "gay brownshirts" in search of a homosexual Hitler from whom they can find organization and direction for their terror tactics.