Tuesday, 31 December 2013

......and for your penance....

Inspired by Bruvver Eccles and other commentators on my last post on Confession (or, Penance as
 Porta Caeli rightly states) here are some penances for traditional Catholics...

1. Dance around the sanctuary at the Offertory to the tune of 'The Snowman'

2. Embrace every member of the congregation at the kiss of peace (even the church cat)

3. Break into applause after Father's sermon

4. At the Pater Noster Our Father, hold your arms out as if trying to fly

5. Wear a Hawaian shirt and shorts to Mass, preferably accompanied by socks and sandals

6. Give your parish Welcomer a Maori greeting in response (it's only polite)

7. Admire Father's new rainbow polyester chasuble and refrain from asking if he has a matching maniple (what's a maniple?)

8. Read the complete works of Clifford Longley

9. Sing 'Shine, Jesus shine' as you stroll into your local pub or golf club

10. Agree with the parish council that they should organise a pilgrimage but refrain from suggesting Pyongyang as a destination


  1. You have forgotten kissing your spouse/significant other on the lips at the sign of peace!

  2. one more :
    be an altar server who leans all over the altar and talks incessantly as the Host is being distributed .
    Pyongyang could Fr Volpi begin Misison work there ?

  3. I'm not sure which of these would be worse but surely any of them would earn me a lot of time off purgatory!