In the interests of equality and evenhandedness I felt that I should follow up on yesterday's post regarding feeling at home with an EF Mass with one for those Catholics (and others) who may not have attended an OF Mass.
First and foremost, informality is the word.
Dress code? Just about anything goes. Shorts and flip flops (thongs if you are Australian) for men, skimpy tops and mini skirts, if you are female and below the age of 75.
You will feel a glow of warmth as you approach the church as there will be a
Once inside feel free to stroll up the aisle stopping off here and there for a friendly chat and to catch up with the latest goss from the Bingo club.
When entering your pew you may like to give a friendly nod in the direction of the tabernacle, if you can see it, that is.
We don't get fussy about all that pi stuff like going down on one knee.
Once seated you can wait for the Mass to start and stand by to respond to the first line of the liturgy from the celebrant: "Good morning everybody"
To which the response is: "Good morning Far----verr" Note that the tone rises several octaves on the ending of "Far----verr"
Now the Mass gets under way but please stifle any yawns as you will probably miss the
Now, at the Offertory, young children take the water and wine and unconsecrated hosts up to Far----verr.
|Ms Grunty O'Troffe (left) with her Special Minister Auntie|
Please don't expect your own children to be asked to do this as the Parish Liturgist, Ms Grunty O'Troffe, who organises most things in the parish, likes her nieces and nephews to undertake these duties.
Now we approach one of the most important and profound parts of the Mass - the kiss of peace.
At a signal given by Far----verr, clasp the person sitting next to you in a warm embrace and plant a big juicy kiss on their cheek.
Repeat for the rest of the congregation, the church cat and, even, Grunty O'Troffe if you can bear it.
Next the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (we just call 'em 'Ministers', much more friendly) get cracking..
Ms O'Troffe's Auntie organises the 'Ministers' who all have to be over a certain age, if you know what I mean, normally 95 years of age at least.
When you go to receive Holy Communion, you form a straight line and hold your hand out to receive the Host from Grunty's Auntie.
Then is not the time to worry about how clean your hands are and as to whether you washed them after cleaning up after Titti-poo's little accident (you know what cats are like) - just go ahead as you know that God loves us all whether we are clean or dirty, He's not worried about personal hygiene....at least, I don't think He is.
There, almost done.
After Far---verr leaves the sanctuary that is the time for you to 'chillax' as our dear Prime Minister likes to say, chat to your neighbour or give a yell across the church if you see someone you know - we are nothing if not friendly.
All in all you will find it a lorra lorra fun and much less demanding than the Latiney version