|Britain's outgoing Ambassador to the Holy See|
Hardly a "streets running with blood" announcement, but, if he made it, it was a poor assessment of the situation.
Which brings me to the main point, our PM, Mr C, has a vacancy for the post of Ambassador to the Vatican State and I would, most humbly and obsequieously, like to put myself forward for it.
I am well qualified, I've been to Rome (once) and met with Pope Benedict (OK, he was 500 metres away and 4 stories up while I was in the throng below) but I think of it as a meeting of minds (?) I can speak a bit of the old Eytie...well, almost. What is more, I like a good cocktail and would thrive on the Ambassadorial circuit; I scrub up well (according to my wife who is coping well with her myopia) and I know the terminology inside out - Cardinal (Your Eminence), Archbishop (Your Grace) and Bishop...... well, you don't want to know that! What more could a candidate require.
What's that? You want a Church going Catholic? OK, I fit the bill there, I go to an Extraordinary form of Mass every Sund.........the door? You mean the interview is over?.........what was it I said?