Not original but well worth a second viewing

My apologies to whoever it was first wrote this piece, it may well have been Father Z,  I don't know; I copied it at the time, adapted it slightly and then filed it away never ever believing that I might enter the scene as a blogger at a later date.
So I am not claiming authorship and, sorry yet again that I cannot link back to the original.

50 Reasons to be Catholic

                         1. We are not emergent, we are eternal

                         2. We have Cardinal Zen

                         3. And Cardinal Sin

                         4. We are not liberal, we love our neighbour

                         5. We do not use the words ‘clown’ and ‘eucharist’ in
                             the same sentence

                          6. We are not conservative, we look to God alone

                          7. Bells….bells….and more bells

                           8. We have a cloistered nun as the patron saint of
                               missionaries (St Therese de Lisieux)

                           9. Announcements of our faith halt the conversation
                               at dinner parties

                     10. The only religion responsible for the smallest
                           nation state

                     11. We have confession – much cheaper than
                            a psychologist

                     12. We have the Swiss Guards and their uniforms

                     13. Catholic morality gives politicians headaches

                     14. Ash Wednesday can’t be exploited by McDonalds
                           or the greetings card industry

                     15. Our liturgy gives Freemasons indigestion

                     16. St Jerome is the patron saint of anger – hope for us all

                     17. Because when you have tacky statues etc you
                           know you must be in the one true Church

                      18. We know what cherubim and seraphim are

                      19. Palestrina

                      20. St Lawrence (while being burnt to death –
                           “turn me over;   I’m done on this side”)

                      21. Incense smells better than cigar smoke

                      22. The litany of saints has the best names for
                            your children

                      23. People do not tour Europe looking at great Protestant

                            Cathedrals do they?

                      24. We love beauty, ritual and ceremony and
                            are proud of it

                      25. The Latin Mass is the same the world over

                      26. Candles

                      27. If you become a saint parts of your body may
                            become relics

                      28. We use phrases such as ‘supernatural existential’, 

                            ‘diochronicity’ and ‘the hermeneutic of continuity’

                      29. Mystery is more than a section in the local library

                      30. We have blessings and Masses to cope with plagues 

                            of  frogs, illnesses, heresy etc etc

                      31. We say the black and do the red

                      32. We don’t call our priests ‘Jim’ or ‘Eric’

                      33. We have a St Bobo, St Bean and St Quadragesimus

                      34. Pope Benedict XVI

                      35. St Paul who said: ‘a little wine for thy stomach’s sake’

                      36. Orange is not a liturgical colour in the Catholic Church

                      37. No other denomination buries statues
                            or prays in order to sell a house

                      38. Fish is good for you

                      39. We use a dead language and don’t give a damn!

                      40. No hand puppets, tambourines, clowns,
                            guitars or dancing allowed in the liturgy

                      41. No crèches in Church, infants stay with us for Mass

                      42. If you are shy you can be a contemplative

                      43. We believe that a state of Grace is a
                            condition of the soul, not part of the USA

                      44. Our religious orders pray during both
                            the night and the day

                      45. With Our Lady and St Michael, no demons
                            can touch us

                      46. Thuribles

                      47. Vestments that look as though they are
                            intended for the worship of God, not as if they
                            were the work of demented seamstresses
                            high on drugs

                     48. A liturgy that does not patronise

                     49. The blessing of the throats (February 3^nd)

                     50. Angels