Bishop's move?

What happens when a Bishop of England and Wales retires?

By that I mean that he no longer lurks around his old Diocese but takes off to spend his remaining years on earth doing - what?

There are some, no doubt, who seek a home within a monastery, especially if they are of an Order and that would appear to be a good and wholesome way of contemplating the hourglass, in the company of one's brothers in Christ.

Some, no doubt, take off for the two bedroomed bungalow in Surbiton within easy reach of the golf course, fair enough; each to his own.

But, how would it be if the Bishop Emeritus in question cast his eyes on a rather luxurious flat in the heart of London's Mayfair, South Kensington or Knightsbridge?

Might that cause one to pause and wonder on the complexities of following a humble life style?

A humble retreat fit for a king (or a Bishop)

Especially if the price tag was, let us say, in excess of £1,500,000?

Now the laws of litigation prevent me from going further and, indeed, I am not sure that it would be a good thing to reveal the name of the Bishop concerned but it does seem to me a very long way from the sort of life Christ would wish one of His own to abide by.

But then, this Bishop does belong to the Church of Nice or, should that be the Church of Nice 'n' Easy?

Bishops file Family Synod results.......

.....sorry, did I say 'file?'

 

My computer has just exploded.....

You might like to check with your GP before filling
in the Bishop's Questionnaire

.....I feel as if I have just run a marathon, my pulse is racing and my blood pressure score must be at an all time high....you see....

...I have just completed the Bishop's online questionnaire on Faith and the Family (well, they don't call it that but that's what it's about).

It is something that we must all do (like taking out life assurance, going to the dentist or dying a slow and painful death) - but pleasant it ain't.

Here is the link FAMILY SYNOD

Please undertake this purgatorial act and offer it up on behalf of the Holy Souls, after all, how often do we get asked to contribute our opinions?

Precisely.

But, I have to say that it is banal in the extreme, poorly put together and extremely hard work for us poor laymen and women who don't understand sentences of more than five words.

The average Catholic on the liberal omnibus will struggle with it......truthful, not patronising.

If I handed out leaflets after Mass at my local parish church, asking what people understood by the word 'Magisterium' and offering £500 cash to the first one with a correct answer, my cash would be as safe as a pork pie in a you know what.

Yet, this paper is littered with such words and phrases.

The first principle of communication is to ensure that it is idiot proof...can we say that any more?

 Well, I just did.

You widen participation by making it easily understood. That's their Lordships first stumbling block.

The second is, just how will anyone produce a sensible report based on this loose piece of contrived social engineering?
The responses are going to be so wide ranging and disparate.

It does not even comply with the basics of qualitative market research, the results, I suggest, are going to be meaningless.

The third is, and this is where it falls into the basic sin of atrociously poor research, it leads (or, tries to) lead you in your answers.

Ho, hum, I smell a hidden agenda......something nasty lurking in the Diocesan woodshed, could it be that some of our esteemed Bishops would like to produce a case for Rome that states that the laity of England and Wales are demanding that  some of the doctrines of the Catholic Church, should be eased a little?

You know, just twist them a bit?

Nothing too much, just a few minor distortions and perversions?

After all, we mustn't be too dogmatic must we?

Fantastic increase in confessions

"Let me see, that's the fifteenth person today making it,
ermm, umm, a 65% increase over last Saturday's stats."

Madeleine Teahan of The Catholic Herald has reported on an apparent 65% increase in the number of Catholics receiving the sacrament in our Cathedrals in England and Wales. You may read it HERE.

Some, even, are attributing this phenomenon to the coming of Pope Benedict's successor, Pope Francis.

Well, I genuinely would not like to pour cold water on this report especially, as an increase was verified by Fr Tim Finigan at Our Lady of the Rosary, Blackfen.

But, I have to take issue with the research processes as carried out by the Bishop's Conference of England and Wales.

It seems that they carried out this exercise by email and phone.

Well, that's OK but you do need to have a sound understanding of research methodology before you set off down this path.

Put crudely, you need to know how to frame your question; you see, there is a desire in human nature, to give a response that is pleasing to the questioner.

Therefore, using a commercial example, you might pose the question: "Have you seen an increase in the sale of widgets since we launched our television advertising campaign?"

This will undoubtedly produce a "yes" response, or, at least, a strong bias in that direction.

So, if the Bishops' man or woman phrased the question linking it to the advent of Pope Francis, I am not exactly saying "Phew!  Blow me down! That is amazingly good news"

Furthermore, I am rather sceptical about forming a quantitative research conclusion from an exercise that, by its nature, is informal.

Have priests in Cathedrals been keeping a tally over the past few years, as to how many attendees there have been at the 4pm Confessions session?

I very much doubt it and, unless they have done this, it is impossible to arrive at an accurate result figure.

Fr Tim's response, however, falls into the qualitative category and is perfectly good and fine. He has noticed an increase in young adults (especially) attending Confession and that is excellent news and accurate research on a quality rather than quantity basis.

So the report from the Bishops must be viewed with some reserve.

As a learned professor friend of mine said to me yesterday: "Of course, if you start from a base of zero then just five confessions is going to look like a bxxxxy good result!"

Oh yes! A new best pub!

Not that I am in any way preoccupied with pubs or alcohol, other than a modest indulgence in the odd good pint or two of bitter and the occasional glass of vin rouge but, yesterday, whilst travelling up the great River Thames from Kingston, I espied a pub with a rather intriguing (not to say wonderful) name: the 'Bishop out of Residence'.

 

 

It all looks very wholesome but, sadly, time did not allow for further market research.

 

It will have to wait for another occasion, maybe a good venue for a Guild of Blessed Titus Brandsma blognic?

 

I just wish we had more Bishops out of residence in England and Wales (pubs, that is. I do hope you did not misconstrue my meaning). (Cough).

 

Ten ways to impress your Bishop

Bishops appreciate a subtle approach

I may be wrong but, it seems to me that Bishops, post Vatican II are more accessible, more 'user friendly' inasmuch that you may meet them at the parish fete, the annual parish visit, on the occasion of  the Sacrament of Confirmation being conferred or, at the golf club.

And, when you do meet them, they are less tied up with things spiritual and far more worldly than their counterparts fifty years ago. Hmmm.

So, if you wish to gain a few Brownie points with your local 'Bish' and convince him that you are the best thing since EMHCs, here are my top ten ploys:-

1. Don't kneel and kiss his ring upon meeting him - Bishops are far too humble for that treatment

2. Never write to him. Bishops dislike receiving letters from their flock. Sheep can't write is their philosophy, so forget it (you won't get a reply anyway).

3. Do not address your Bishop as 'My Lord', instead call him plain 'Bishop' or, even, 'Bishop Reg' (assuming that 'Reg' is his Christian name).

4. There is a litany of words that must not be mentioned in the presence of a Bishop, these include: "Rosary, Latin, Extraordinary, Benediction, Altar Rails and Magisterium" (there are more but these are the important ones).

5. Ask him to adopt a charitable cause of your choosing; high on the popularity list are groups such as the Marxist Catholic Association and the LGBT Rainbow Liturgy Society.

6. Encourage him to appoint a Diocesan Liturgical Artist who will produce some beautiful meaningless posters in pastel colours that nobody will understand.

7. Inspire him to open a Twitter account and to read the Tweets of his priests and deacons (especially the deacons).

8. Suggest that, as his 60 or so parishes offer Masses in Chinese, Tamil, Tagalog, Polish and Latvian, the addition of Swahili and Lakota would be much appreciated. You will find him only too pleased to comply.

9. Invite him to organise some Clown Masses - the smell of greasepaint does things to Bishops.

10. Ask him what he understands regarding Summorum Pontificum.

How to impress your Bishop...

....in five easy moves:-

1. When you greet him kneel and kiss the ring on his hand - do not be put off by him trying to withdraw his hand, it's all part of what is known as 'humility etiquette'.

2. Address him as 'My Lord' (Oh, he will love you for that).
Never ever refer to him as 'Bishop' or use his Christian name in association with the word 'Bishop' as in, 'Hello there Bishop Tom'.

3. Invite him to join in the theological game known as 'Hunt the Tabernacle' (the winning phrase is: 'Why is your chair where the Tabernacle should be?' - by now he will be hysterical!

4. This one is a winner, produce a copy of The Tablet and ask him the question: 'Pope or The Tablet, which do you prefer?' If he responds 'The Tablet' you knock his mitre off and shout 'Mennini' three times. If he is not rolling on the floor convulsed with giggles or something similar then he will have passed out - remember, all 'DNR' notices must be obeyed.

5. Finally, you will win his undying affection if you fumble in your pocket muttering the words: 'Summorum Pontificum' and 'Stable Group' - do not be surprised if, overcome with affection, he grasps you around the neck with both hands....it's the new kiss of peace you know!

What do you call men who are disloyal to their leader?

Men who stab their general in the back; men who do not wait for the stage to be cleared before they put the boot in by talking of needing a change, of moving away from a 'conservative Church'

Would you place these men in that category? -



Cardinal Emeritus Cormac Murphy O'Connor    



                         
                                              Bishop Kieran Conry, Arundel & Brighton


Bishop Thomas Burns, Menevia             


Would you use these words to describe the character of any of the above?

Integrity/Faithful/Loyal/Obedient/Visionary/Decent/True

"I'm a Bishop, get me out of here"

Yes, the new celebrity challenge show coming to the small screen will be screened next Spring.

 The Bishops of England and Wales will compete in the jungle environment of Bulinga Fen aka Westminster Cathedral Piazza for a nine day period and, at the end of each day, a panel of the laity will vote off the one that has failed to please the audience most, here's the format for the show:-

Day One :
All contestants to learn Summorum Pontificum by heart and to recite it standing on one leg on the Cathedral steps.

Day Two:
 Lots of fun today as their Lordships skydive from 30,000 feet with 200 remaindered  copies of The Tablet strapped to their backs. Their parachutes will have been specially  packed for them by a team of SSPX seminarians under the watchful eye of adjudicator, Damian Thompson. Those arriving on the landing zone of Westminster Cathedral bell tower will gain full marks but those landing on Westminster Abbey will have 10 points deducted; any Bishop landing on a Hindu Temple will lose 50 points.

Day Three:
The pace hots up as each Bishop dons cassock and lacy cotta for 'Act as a slave to a curate' day. This will involve rising at 3am in the morning to make sick calls to the local  hospital, back to the parish for a 7am Mass, then off to attend a spiritual session at Archbishop's House where delegates will have to meditate on the qualities of a pot of yoghurt before making a round of the care homes taking  comfort to the elderly. The programme continues in the afternoon with parish visits, Mass in the local convent and a final evening parish Mass at 8am.

Day Four:
Those who have survived the gruelling challenge so far will be asked to take part in the Sunday special - 'Hunt the Latin Mass'. The Bishops will have to carry out a  search of the Diocese to find a Latin Mass. The contest hots up as they then have to take the quickest route by foot arriving at the church in time for the 10.45pm EF Mass.

Day Five:
Chuckles galore in store today as the remaining contestants are blindfolded and then told to make their way to the National Shrine of Wales - any Bishop caught taking a shortcut along the M4 motorway will be disqualified.

Day Six: 
Today is the Worlock Trophy Day - our episcopal chums will have 24 hours to seek out Ed Stourton or Clifford Longley and 'custard pie' them (in the event of either of those two leading Catholic personalities being unavailable, any Old Amplefordian will do).

Day Seven:
 The pace hots up as their lordships are given the ultimate challenge of finding and eating a copy of Hans Kung's book 'What I believe' - raw! Ugh!

Day Eight: 
Those still standing will be asked to sing Durufle's Requiem - standing up to their necks in freezing water.

Day Nine:
The final day culminates with the remaining Bishops doing the Eccleston Square Square Dance (think Egyptian dance and you get a rough idea of what is involved). The delegate judged to have made the most laps of the square (without going in a circle) will be declared the champion.

The production company is likely to make a follow up of this series with another small screen blockbuster - 'Made in Victoria'

If the Bishop's were Executives, they'd have been fired long ago

Mulier Fortis and Countercultural Father report on Bishop Kieran Conry's latest outpourings that are, frankly, mystifying.

+ Conry casts aside recorded history to give his distorted take on things.

Elsewhere we have Bishops shutting churches in a style more akin to Chairman Mao than to a Prince of the Church.

For years they (their lordships) have trundled out tired and weary nuances that have weakened the faith of many and led them down the path of relativism.

Yet we, the poor old sheep in the pen, put up with it all ad infinitum.

If George Orwell was alive and writing Animal Farm today he would not be focusing on Communism but on the Catholic Church.

Just think, for one minute, of the track record of  the Bishops over the past forty or fifty years.

Catholic Schools are a disgrace, abortion on demand goes unheeded,  marriages and baptisms have nose dived, adoption by homosexuals accepted, foreign priests drafted to prop up parishes in a lazy attempt to maintain the status quo and the seminaries sniff out any candidates that might have a touch of sanctity about them.
In fact, the old Noel Coward joke could be adapted along the lines of:

 Bishop interviewing prospective seminarian: "Tell me, are you a homosexual?"

Prospective seminarian: "I'm sorry My Lord, I didn't realise it was an entry requirement"

In a business world, the Bishops would have received an appraisal interview 12 months into the job.
The object would be to identify weaknesses or flaws in performance and give firm guidance and objectives with the aim of helping the Bishop to become more proficient.

This is not be a spiritual exercise, it concerns management and administration matters.

How to plan effectively, how to overcome issues such as the lack of vocations, how to motivate your priests and how to inspire your flock by your words and deeds.

And then, at the end of year two and on the occasion of the second appraisal interview, if objectives had not been achieved, the Bishop should be told to go, and quickly.

That goes part of the way to ensuring a vibrant and strong Church.

The other part is, of course, the spiritual element.

NB - an apology. After experimenting with Disqus I have reverted (hopefully) to the original comments format. In the process it appears as if I've lost a great number of comments and responses, sorry.

Are our Bishops on the greasy pole?

Damian Thompson thinks they are; I hope he is right.

The early indications might point in that direction.

The hand of Archbishop Mennini must surely be seen in all of this. The pace of change since he was appointed Papal Nuncio has increased massively.

Not that we should get overly excited, two good Bishops do not a Counter Reformation make - but it's a start, a brick by brick start and change is in the air....read Damian's article HERE

My plumber only does baths and sinks.....

……my electrician only socket installations….

                                    And you can have whatever colour you want.....as long as its black

….my doctor only prescribes for measles and ingrown toenails….

 ……my local supermarket only sells cabbages…….

…..and my priest only does the OF Mass

Just what part of Summorum Pontificum do the Bishops not understand?

Is the magic circle starting to go pear shaped?

First we have Bishop Mark Davies putting an orthodox stamp on Shrewsbury Diocese, then his Lordship's right hand man, Monsignor Philip Egan, an orthodox man according to the pundits is appointed Bishop of poor old Portsmouth Diocese and now, the Bishop of Lancaster, the Rt Reverend Michael Campbell, successor to the acclaimed Archbishop O'Donoghue, has drawn a line in the sand as far as teachers in Catholic schools are concerned and asked them to make a public profession of faith.

This has resulted in shrieks from the left wing press and cries of "McCarthyism rules again".

I don't quite get that; wasn't McCarthy anti communist?

 Is it just the act of asking people to come clean about their beliefs that results in such emotive language?

What is wrong, precisely, with wishing to know where those who are in charge of educating and informing the young stand?

Isn't that where the Catholic Education Council and the Bishops of England and Wales have gone so very wrong over the past forty or so years?

They appear to prefer a sort of grey sludge and mediocrity delivery of religious education as opposed to orthodoxy and clarity.
The thing I was always brought up to believe is that theology is black and white, no room for dissembling or equivocation.

So now, out of circa 28 Bishops in England and Wales, for the first time since Vatican II we appear to have a growing number of good men who are not prepared to toe the party line.

That's getting on for 11% - maybe not a great statistic but a damn sight better than zero.

And, with more appointments looming, and the good offices of the Papal Nuncio, Archbishop Mennini, we may hope to see that number of good men increase dramatically.

Who knows, given time and the works of the Holy Spirit, the magic circle could disappear in a puff of smoke?

Did the Bishops have a hand in the Olympic opening ceremony?

I mean, it had all the hallmarks of Eccleston Square writ large over it.
Lots of flashing lights and clouds of smoke; young maidens dancing about the place and then there was the punk rock bit....just the sort of thing that their Lordships think makes them cool and trendy (see Day for Life)

And, to cap it all, it made Britain look like it was stuck in the Industrial Revolution period, cloth caps, mufflers and clogs. Great!

Various British Governments have spent fortunes in an attempt to dispel the commonly held image of Britain as a country steeped in pea souper fogs, with citizens either wearing the aforesaid apparel or deerstalker hats wandering around streets lit by gas lamps..

That is really how many Chinese and Japanese industrialists view us, a slightly comical nation with Morris Dancers outside every pub and Little Bo Peeps herding sheep through city streets.
And now, they know it is true.

The Day of Life which takes place tomorrow was originally intended as a day to reinforce the sanctity of human life when the forces of BPAS and Dignitas are hell bent on destroying it.

Only now, it's riding on the Olympics bandwagon and the promotional image of a young girl swimming has all the depth and allure of a municipal swimming baths programme.

If you can be bothered to look at the Day for Life website you can read the blurb. And blurb it is.

The thing is, I looked for a mention of "God" or something in the spiritual vein. There was nothing, it was all totally secular as far as I could see.

If you wish to prove me wrong and can direct me to where mention is made of Almighty God, then you will win a one way ticket to Pyongyang's Hotel  Dignitas.

Meanwhile, remember that Greece was the original home of the Olympics.....and of cynics.

If the menu is blank how do you know what's on offer?

It's not "off" it just isn't there!

Can you imagine sitting down in a restaurant and being handed a menu that has gaps in the listings?

Ridiculous!

But this is what is happening in the Catholic Church at both Diocesan and Parish levels.

So many parishes that offer an EF Mass one Sunday (or Wednesday) per month do not actually show it on the church notices.

Look on the website of the parish or diocese and more (or, rather, less), of the same.

The Latin Mass is not apparent so it does not exist..........and most Catholics believe that to be the case.

So, a visitor to the region, on Googling his or her chances of finding a Latin Mass, is left with the impression that none exist. Shame.

It is shameful that some Diocesan websites totally ignore the fact that the TLM is celebrated in a few of the parishes and one cannot but arrive at the conclusion that those in authority want it to be like that so that, starved of oxygen, the patient will die or, at least, appear to die.

At the time of the 'excommunications' of the SSPX Bishops in 1988 I recall some impromptu legislation that was laid down by some Bishops with regard to the Latin Mass.

No broadcasting of its venue or timings was permitted. It could not take place on a Sunday and children should be discouraged (so it had to be held at 5pm just when they were preparing to begin the evening ritual of tea and bed).And it should not take place on the main altar but in a side chapel.

And people rejoiced when apartheid came to an end!

But, the answer to this thorny problem lies within our grasp; we must be most un-British and.....COMPLAIN........LOUD AND CLEAR (but, always with Christian courtesy).

Complain to the parish priest, to the Bishop, to the webmaster, the parish council and, finally, to the local paper if you cannot get justice.

But, above all else, complain.

As October looms closer.....how about a game of Critical Pursuit?

October 2012 is the launch period for the Holy Father's push to evangelise the world, or, in the case of the bulk of Catholics in Europe, to re-evangelise them.

I say this because there has been a deal of bitter comment of late about "traditionalists" and "liberals" and it seems to me that, while there is certainly no need for this, there must be some recognition that the touchy feely liturgies and the disregard for Catholic teaching  means that the two groups (if I may call them that) are poles apart.

It is the liberals who need the re-evangelisation process because, quite frankly, they have lost the plot - they've forgotten what the Catholic Faith is all about. They don't give a damn about the Church's teaching on contraception or gay "marriage" or women priests and they may also be a bit iffy about abortion.

Now please, if you do wish to leave a comment, do not make it an anonymous one. I do try to be reasonable but, of late the Anons have been pushing their luck a bit.

But back to the point of all this; those most in need of re-evangelisation are the young adults and those still in the secondary education system, products of liberal Catholic catechesis.

They have been fed the most awful junk diet of slush and error that it is possible to imagine and they need some real organic bread and wine to ensure that they remain Catholics for life, not just until they have flown the nest.

Stay with me while I indulge in my fantasy of winning some 3 million pounds on the National Lottery.
I would take a fair old lump of that cash and invest it in producing a board game designed to entertain and, while it entertains, to also educate.

I am not an academic but I have designed a fair few training programmes aimed at teaching people (from the age of 3 up) to play a game that is good fun but also, subliminally,  teaches, at the same time.

                           Life may be Trivial but Eternal Life is Critical


And so it is, I would launch onto the market (and send 10 free sets to every Catholic Secondary School in the country) my version called 'CRITICAL PURSUIT'.

The game would, as I know you are fully aware, comprise questions regarding Catholic teaching on faith and morals...a sort of Monopoly type version of the Catechism.

It might not be the number one selling game at Christmas but I will bet a few ten pence pieces that the Bishops of England and Wales will not be coming up with anything half as effective!

What bishop would wish this on his priests?

By the end of day two the priests have fully bonded

Imagine this scenario if you will; a serene and isolated monastery, far from the bright lights and dark shadows and....(enter left)...an ex Jesuit priest (bad enough if he was a Jesuit full stop).


Ex J advances to mid stage and addresses a group of cowed looking parish priests (wrested from their busy parishes where they are on call for anointing the dying and the sick and other odd chores such as burying the dead).


"Gather round" states the ex J; "I want you to connect with your inner selves, make a circle and place your arms across the shoulder of the brother priests on your left and right - now let us all release our pent up emotions and groan, that's right, groan, I can feel your pain.


 Let it all out Fathers, hang loose and feel the tension leaving your body, empty your minds and reflect on things such as climate warming and how wonderful it would be to have a partner and how utterly awful it is to have an inflexible authority telling you what to believe and how to behave....."


This continues for two whole days.




What is it? It's a special retreat for priests. And it's taking place in a diocese near you!


Actually it's absolute tosh and a total waste of time and money - but, hey!................


.......................... Who's going to tell the bishop that?

If we can move the gateposts for the Anglicans....

........then surely we can accommodate the SSPX!

Don't get me wrong (especially any members of the Ordinariate flock who may have strayed to this blog inadvertently) - I believe that the moves made by the Holy Father have been both welcome and wise and it is a matter of some considerable joy that we are now "one".

But, for heaven's sake, if we can accommodate vicars and laity from the Anglican faith, we must surely be able to reach an agreement with our own?

After all, is the Society's stance so very different from the one that many thousands of Catholics made in the wake of Vatican II?

To "leave" the modern Mass and only attend the "Mass of all Time?"

Is the Society totally divorced from the martyrs of England and Wales who gave their lives for the sake of the Latin Mass (in essence?)

It is not the SSPX that has drifted so much as the modern Church.

Just who is out of step in this picture. The officer
or the troops behind?

It is the Church that is out of step and the Holy Father is working hard to bring it into line, hampered, as always, by the Vaticanistas who have a somewhat different agenda.

While there is continuing opposition to the Latin Mass by the Bishops they appear to have no difficulty in sliding the Syro-Malabar rite under our noses, or providing Mass in Tagalog or Mandarin......so one must wonder whether their motives are for good or for evil.

I have no doubt that it's the latter.

Prayers are needed to bring this negotiation process to a clean and successful conclusion.

We are Catholic gypsies

This phrase was used recently by a friend to describe our present state: we travel long distances to Mass, we are disenfranchised, homeless, despised by our fellow Catholics and disliked by those who have authority over us.

Good morning Bishop!

We are the wanderers who live hand to mouth, never sure that, should the time come, there will be a proper priest to bestow the final sacrament upon us.

A romantic notion is it not? A self pitying one? No, not that.

Romantic, maybe. But it also happens to be true and there are times when I get *****y fed up with it.

I mean, what would be so difficult about providing a Latin Mass in say, ten percent of the parishes (instead of one per cent).

Living in a large city as a traditional Catholic may mean a train or bus journey to Mass but here in wild and woolly Wales, every Mass we attend costs us around £28 each Sunday and, in terms of time, it takes up most of the day.

Tsk, tsk! you say; how dare you reduce Mass to calculations regarding petrol costs and your own precious time.

And, indeed, there are others worse off than us "gypsies" but that argument wears a bit thin after the first twenty years or so.

It is not as if we were asking for something unachievable, for something that was inherently bad that would lower our spiritual defences; quite the opposite.

The Holy Father has determined that we should have both an "Ordinary" Mass and an "Extraordinary" one - so why then do Bishops only make provision for the Ordinary one?

How can a Bishop sleep easy in his bed at night knowing that he has failed (and failed wretchedly) to comply with the Pope's express wishes?

Does he go to sleep blissfully happy that he has fulfilled his pastoral role to the letter?
Thinking that his flock all believe that he is the best thing since sliced bread?

Or, does he fretfully toss and turn in the knowledge that, in reality, a section of his flock believe him to be of slightly less use than a chocolate teapot?

"Dear Bishop...."

May 1989 and I respond to my Bishop's uncharitable letter to my wife and myself.

Meanwhile, abuses at the school continue, school Masses use flowerpot type vessels instead of proper chalices and ciboria and a visiting priest, saying Mass for the children stops halfway through the elevation to ask: "Does anyone know the Test score?"

You really could not make it up and our world becomes more and more Lewis Carroll and less and less orthodox Catholic.

We were saved by a wonderful priest, Father Peter Lessiter, who then operated a "flying pastor" service to traditional Catholic families throughout the length and breadth of the land. He came, on average, every five or six weeks and stayed for two or three days, celebrating Mass, catechizing the children and hearing confessions.

In between visits we said a "dry" Mass on a Sunday a la recusant style.
Father Lessiter advised me to record every event that occurred as, in his words: "We are seeing Church history before our eyes and it's important to retain a record for future generations".

So now I can refer to fat files of press cuttings and letters to all and sundry - here is my letter in response to the Bishop's warning shot. I was, perhaps, a little brasher in those days but, on re-reading the letter, I don't think that I would change anything.

"Dear Bishop....................,

I was extremely disturbed and angry to receive such a letter from you.

I have written to you several times in the past enumerating the various abuses that take place at Masses in your Diocese and you have never responded.

Because of the continuation of such abuses that deny the primary sacrificial nature of the Mass my wife and I have made the decision to return to the "Mass of all Time".

I find it rather bizarre to be accused of alignment with Protestantism as a result. Were, then, my parents heretics?

The Society (SSPX) is not a sect as you well know and if I seek justification for our actions in the modern Church I would quote to you Code 844 of Canon Law:-

"Whenever necessity requires or a genuine spiritual advantage commends it, and provided the danger of error or indifferentism is avoided, Christ's faithful for whom it is physically impossible to approach a Catholic Minister, may lawfully receive the sacraments of penance, the Eucharist and anointing of the sick from non-Catholic Ministers in whose churches these sacraments are valid"

Our preference is, of course, to receive the Sacraments from a Catholic priest so we shall continue in our intentions.

We too, shall pray for you and the Church".

I believe that the new Code of Canon Law 844 was a sop to the ecumenical movement that flourished at that time with shared services being quite common but, on this occasion, it ricocheted back into the court of the liberals.