Following on from my last post focusing on Dr Tracey Rowland's talk on the 3 Barriers to the Latin Mass, I have cobbled together a list of 'obstacles' to the Novus Ordo Mass.
But, before I begin, let me pre-empt any comments that might be in the offing concerning my view as to the validity of the Ordinary Form.
Many orthodox priests are forced to celebrate this Mass and do so reverently.
It is still not quite the round shilling in my book and I return to Fr Hugh Thwaites' description of the two forms as being water and milk.
Both are valid and provide what is required; but one provides sparingly whilst the other is rich fare indeed.
So here is my litany of the Novus Ordo...please add any 'obstacles' that I may have missed:-
1. The congregation gossip, often at the tops of their voices
2. No one genuflects
3. Children are often taken out of Mass for...what?
4. The church and, often the sanctuary, carry banal playschool posters (often)
5. The priest begins by saying: "Good morning everybody" as if he was a Redcoat at Butlin's.
6. The priest invariably ad libs throughout the Mass
7. There are no communion rails
8. The tabernacle has gone walkabouts
9. At the kiss of peace the congregation go berserk, hugging and kissing
10. There are guitars and other musical instruments of the street in use
11. The bidding prayers are banal
12. Strange people greet you as you arrive to attend Mass
13. The Parish Co-ordinator's nephew and niece always get to take up the bread and wine at the Offertory
14. The singing content is abysmal
15. There is a mob of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion doing incorrect things with sacred vessels and, anyway, they shouldn't be there.
16. The Deacon's brother-in-Law always does the reading (followed by his Sister-in-Law for the second reading
17. The altar servers wear albs
18. There are female altar servers on the sanctuary
19. The Deacon's uncle always takes the collection plate round
20. The altar is actually a card table
21. At the Consecration the families of the Parish Co-ordinator and the Deacon hold hands around the altar
22. The Priest's host is the size of a frisbee
23. All of the hosts are made with brown flour and look dirty
24. The Deacon's sermons go on for far too long and are totally pointless anyway
25. The celebrant deviates constantly and makes up additions to various parts of the liturgy
26. The laity dress strangely, men in shorts and T shirts and women in beachwear
27. The altar servers are untrained
28. The priest wears a polyester chasuble so brightly coloured you need sunglasses to look at it
29. When announcements are made, the congregation claps (sometimes)
30. Holy Communion is distributed under both kinds (pointless)
31. Reception is standing and in the hand
32. The sacred vessels are made of pottery (from the Parish Co-ordinator's evening class)
33. Women do not cover their heads
Phew!.....any advance on 33?
 |
| Barrier....or gateway? Barrier |
But, before I begin, let me pre-empt any comments that might be in the offing concerning my view as to the validity of the Ordinary Form.
Many orthodox priests are forced to celebrate this Mass and do so reverently.
It is still not quite the round shilling in my book and I return to Fr Hugh Thwaites' description of the two forms as being water and milk.
Both are valid and provide what is required; but one provides sparingly whilst the other is rich fare indeed.
So here is my litany of the Novus Ordo...please add any 'obstacles' that I may have missed:-
1. The congregation gossip, often at the tops of their voices
2. No one genuflects
3. Children are often taken out of Mass for...what?
4. The church and, often the sanctuary, carry banal playschool posters (often)
5. The priest begins by saying: "Good morning everybody" as if he was a Redcoat at Butlin's.
6. The priest invariably ad libs throughout the Mass
7. There are no communion rails
8. The tabernacle has gone walkabouts
9. At the kiss of peace the congregation go berserk, hugging and kissing
10. There are guitars and other musical instruments of the street in use
11. The bidding prayers are banal
12. Strange people greet you as you arrive to attend Mass
13. The Parish Co-ordinator's nephew and niece always get to take up the bread and wine at the Offertory
14. The singing content is abysmal
15. There is a mob of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion doing incorrect things with sacred vessels and, anyway, they shouldn't be there.
16. The Deacon's brother-in-Law always does the reading (followed by his Sister-in-Law for the second reading
17. The altar servers wear albs
18. There are female altar servers on the sanctuary
19. The Deacon's uncle always takes the collection plate round
20. The altar is actually a card table
21. At the Consecration the families of the Parish Co-ordinator and the Deacon hold hands around the altar
22. The Priest's host is the size of a frisbee
23. All of the hosts are made with brown flour and look dirty
24. The Deacon's sermons go on for far too long and are totally pointless anyway
25. The celebrant deviates constantly and makes up additions to various parts of the liturgy
26. The laity dress strangely, men in shorts and T shirts and women in beachwear
27. The altar servers are untrained
28. The priest wears a polyester chasuble so brightly coloured you need sunglasses to look at it
29. When announcements are made, the congregation claps (sometimes)
30. Holy Communion is distributed under both kinds (pointless)
31. Reception is standing and in the hand
32. The sacred vessels are made of pottery (from the Parish Co-ordinator's evening class)
33. Women do not cover their heads
Phew!.....any advance on 33?
Mission statements recited out loud
ReplyDeleteExcellent Sandy, number 34!
ReplyDelete"The Parish Co-ordinator's nephew and niece always get to take up the bread and wine at the Offertory".
ReplyDeleteEveryone else hides.
http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2013/01/28/no-laity-found-to-bring-up-gifts-to-altar-consecration-delayed-two-hours/
Jadis....many thanks, a glimpse into the world of the insane.
ReplyDeleteI've seen McDonald's being consumed during Mass, entire sacks brought in! Strange.
ReplyDeleteOn the relative thing- our community is so small- tiny- that the majority attending any given Mass has a high probability of being related in some fashion.
I expect you accompany hymns with banjos rather than guitars then....
DeleteNo, never a guitar or anything other than an organ, maybe a piano once when the organ was broken?? Can't remember.
DeleteRichard,
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could add the following to your list: (1. The Celebrant does not do his own washing up-he leaves it up to his EMOTE-a bad host (2. A number of the congregation jump over backward to give you the Sign of Peace- yet will not give you the time of day outside of the church. (3.I was always taught to talk God inside of the church and your neighbour outside! I am getting very uncharitable in my old age!
Hope you are well,
God Bless,
Michael.
Priest walks up and down the nave to "connect" during his homily.
ReplyDeletePriest leaves sanctuary at the sign of peace to glad-hand parishioners in the front rows.
Communicants chat or chew gum in line.
Communicants chew the Host.
Communicants don't kneel when they return to their place but sit and start chatting immediately.
Great start... also:
ReplyDelete1) No one genuflects when they pass the tabernacle (assuming it's passable at all and not tucked away into some side chapel as you mentioned in no. 8).
2) Before Mass, the choir director forces the congregation to rehearse the opening hymn "so they can hear us in Heaven" (the last mention of Heaven all day).
3) Before Mass the congregation is forced to listen to Oprah-esque babble by a daughter of the '60s about accepting everyone as they are and then made to greet the people in the surrounding pews and "make a new friend!"
4) The Introit is omitted for a plucky '70s hymn.
5) The understudy (er, visiting priest-celebrant) begins Mass with a joke so as to endear the congregation to him.
6) The celebrant complains that the congregation is not saying the responses loudly enough and insists everyone try, try again until he can hear them.
7) The celebrant omits the Confiteor (and if perchance he slips up and includes it, he never beats his breast).
8) Couples cuddle and whisper sweet nothings to each other during Mass.
9) Parents bring snacks, games, and toys to distract their kids from Mass--and leave the pew looking like a movie theater after an action flick.
10) Congregants text during Mass.
11) Congregants crack jokes to each other during Mass (hey, if the priest can do it).
12) Congregants use the kneelers like footrests on an airplane.
13) The altar girl keeps rearranging her ponytail.
14) Every homily begins with a bad (and possibly sacreligious) joke. Everyone pretends it was funny and laughs awkwardly.
15) The homilist complains about the heat (or the cold) and promises he won't go on long so we can all get out of church as soon as possible. (Admittedly, given the content of his homily, this is an act of charity.)
16) The homilist preaches drivel or heresy or both.
17) The homilist uses props, with the altar (i.e. card-table ;~) serving as prop shelf.
19) The homilist follows a pseudo-Socratic style: wandering around the congregation and forcing people to answer his questions.
20) No mention of mortal sin, no mention of Hell. Confession, if every preached, is merely a means to make you feel better called "Reconciliation". (After all, if it were preached, it would have to be offered more than one hour a week in the "reconciliation room".)
21) No one knows the words of the Credo (least of all the celebrant); no one bows or genuflects at the Incarnatus Est.
(To be continued...)
Oops, no no. 18. So:
Delete18) The settings for the parts of the Mass (Kyrie, Gloria, Sanctus, Agnus Dei) are so hideously sing-song anyone over ten possessed of a modicum of taste would find them saccharine. How can anything so silly be taken seriously? It's a good thing this is just a parody, right?
(...continued from above:)
ReplyDelete22) The Offertory is omitted for a plucky '70s hymn.
23) The woman relaxing in the pew in front of you gives you a dirty look for kneeling during the Eucharistic Prayer and invading her shoulder space. (Ditto after the Agnus Dei.)
24) The Roman Canon is never used.
25) The Celebrant looks around the theater (er, church), playing to the audience (er, faithful) during the Consecration.
26) The congregants who came in after the Gospel have no compunction about presenting themselves for Communion.
27) No one has any compunction about presenting himself for Communion.
28) Congregants exit the church immediately they have received Communion.
29) That woman in front of you can't believe you're kneeling again and blocking her shoulder space but she's going to sit back anyway and crunch your praying fingers to teach you to respect others. (And if you still insist, she may think you're trying to sexually harrass her.)
30) Voluminous announcements immediately follow Communion--often including guest speakers to talk up the parish social, with, you guessed it, more props! (The post-Communion prayer is either omitted or postponed to the Concluding Rite, so that the Congregation has no idea how to respond.)
31) The celebrant demands rounds of applause for the choir, lectors, etc. because didn't they put on a good show? And if you don't clap, your neighbors espy you as an ungrateful snob.
32) The celebrant waves, shakes hands, and chats with congregants as he processes out as though he were a star at a movie premiere.
33) Everyone jumps up and starts chatting as soon as Mass ends (no acts of thanksgiving). And if you are so callous and self-involved as to try to kneel and say an act of contrition, the people next to you in the pew can't believe you're blocking their exit.
34) The church is locked as soon as possible after Sunday Mass and stays that way all week, because come on, who would ever want to go inside a church after Sunday morning service? You'd think we were Catholic or something!
The list goes on and on... Not all of these abuses occur in every Novus Ordo Mass/parish, but in my experience across North America, Europe, and East Asia, many of them are are widespread in "mainstream NO Catholic" parishes. (I've seen far worse in self-consciously "progressive Catholic" parishes.) I've yet to see any of these abuses in the TLM.
This was cathartic. Thank you! And thank you for your excellent blog.
During the Distribution of the Eucharist ,the most senior altar server-male -chats and laughs with the other two male altar servers ,all directly behind the altar ,whilst the female altar server glares at them and
ReplyDeletetwo young girls who are altar servers ,lean their elbows upon the altar during the distribution until the senior altar server-laughing boy above -looks at them .
Oh Wow!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo many good additions to the list, thank you all, we are now heading for 330 barriers!
ReplyDeleteMichael, I am well (DG), I trust that you and yours are surviving? God bless.
The priest giving EHMCs the sacred Body and Blood before he consumes the Blessed Sacrament. EMHCs removing and returning the Blessed Sacrament to the Tabernacle. The priest making up his own text. The priest ignoring the glaring issues of immorality among his flock, to constantly talk about the evil of cancer, sickness, economic poverty as if they were he greatest threats to our souls.
ReplyDeleteFather asking who's birthday or anniversary it was during the week, having the person/couple stand, and then leading in the singing of "Happy Birthday/Anniversary To You" . . . followed by applause.
ReplyDeleteFunny, the last Novus Ordo Mass I attended had none of the 33 aspects mentioned by Richard, and was moreover in Latin. It was about a month ago at a well-known church in South Kensington.
ReplyDeletePretty comprehensive! Oh, what about Holy Communion being mandatory and anyone who doesn't go being "looked at".
ReplyDeleteI suggest this whole post be sent to our new Holy Father to help him understand why the Mystical Body of Christ, the Catholic Church, is yet in such a mess.
At my N.O parish 2 out of 33.
ReplyDeleteChristian, two too many.
ReplyDeleteJacobi, many thanks, a very good suggestion.
John Nolan, back in 1985 I used to always attend a NO Mass that was as you describe. If that was still available I would possibly attend. Since then I have never, ever encountered the like, all has been happy clappy drivel.
If it was available in 1985 it is probably available now, certainly in the London area. That said, I prefer the Roman Rite to the NO, for a number of reasons, and whereas back in the 1970s it was a rara avis, it now seems to be slipping unselfconsciously into the mainstream.
DeleteLynda, many thanks, we are now up to 300!
ReplyDeleteHardly any of your criticisms are intrinsic to the Novus Ordo (2012). Some are abuses condemned by the GIRM, like the pottery chalice. Most are just examples of bad practice, poor taste (vestments in polyester) and a lack of reverence. The Novus Ordo can be celebrated reverently and with dignity, to the glory of God.
ReplyDeleteIt's often easier to love God than to love the Church, which is made up of fallible and awkward human beings who annoy us. Nevertheless Jesus commanded us to love one another, not to seal ourselves off in some hermetically pure liturgical preserve where we can form a pharisaical community of the elect and discerning.
Dominic McCarthy - my criticisms concern the trappings of the NO Mass; the happy clappy lack of reverence and respect for the Blessed Sacrament.
ReplyDeleteIf you think that the Latin Mass is a form of 'sealing off' from the world, I think you have the wrong end of the stick.
We should all aim to be of the elect and discerning. Part of that involves making a judgement as to which form of Mass is most pleasing to Almighty God. As Fr Thwaites says: "Water and Milk".
I'll opt for milk every time.
John, no, it is certainly not available now. I do not go often to an OF Mass but, whenever I do, I see the same old lack of reverence on a massive scale.
ReplyDeleteBut, I agree, there are signs of a return to sanity.
My NO parish qualified on 17 of 33, and in summer when the choir is on hiatus, we are treated to a saxophone solo, but worse is the woman with the breathy, high voice who sings the responsorial psalm as if she were entertaining at a piano bar. Positively cringeworthy.
ReplyDelete