Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Smart priest wanted

So what does it take to be a competent, holy and potent Bishop? Are there set standards for such a post?
Presumably the Church operates its own form of meritocracy when it comes to appointments which may be why, in Great Britain, we have elements such as The Magic Circle.
Possibly ++ Vincent Nichols might like to consider adapting a commercial model for recruiting and appointing these key individuals  whom we rely upon to uphold the doctrines of the Faith and respond to the guidance and teachings of Pope Benedict XVI.

It might look something like this:-

Title: Diocesan Bishop, Prince of the Church and Apostle of Jesus Christ

Job description:
To be responsible for the spiritual welfare of laity within the Diocese, the management of a team of priests throughout a network of parishes, the administration of any religious orders within the Diocese, in conjunction with the Superior of the order, the development of Catholic Schools within the Diocese, the extension of Catholic Education into non Catholic schools, the overseeing of Church organisations and Charities (Adoption Agencies, CAFOD,) etc.

Educated to PG level within the framework of Theology/Divinity/Philosophy. Essential that part of any UG/PG degree study should have been taken overseas. An ICT qualification is also essential and applicants ahould have undergone a Media Interview Technique Course.

Personal attributes:
Candidates should have a profound gift of the Faith and be good communicators and administrators. Other management skills including leadership, financial controls, decision making and appraisal of performance are  key factors. A strong sense of humour and a talent for public speaking are also prerequisites. Evidence of a humble attitude will also be an advantage.

Other requirements:

Candidates should be prepared, in their Episcopal duties, to undertake the following:

1.1 Lead groups of laity in focused actions such as Rosary Groups outside abortuaries
1.2 Follow totally the Magisterium in all its actions and teachings
1.3 Spend at least one hour each day, on their knees, in prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament or a  
1.4 Go to trial and possibly be imprisoned as a result of upholding the doctrinal teachings of the Church on
      Abortion, Adoption by Homosexual couples, Euthanasia, Stem Cell Research, IVF and any other   
      subject as may present itself
1.5 Encourage parishes to support national pilgrimages (Walsingham, Taper, March of Reparation) etc
1.6 Be humble enough to allow the laity to kiss their Episcopal Ring
1.7 Adopt a traditional dress code; no casual clothes, baseball caps or trainers.
1.8 Membership of any ad hoc group loosely defined as 'The Magic Circle' is strictly forbidden.


Well, that's a start. I could go on but then I would have to race to the nearest confessional!

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