A letter to Pope Francis

Your Popliness

We represent a lotta people, OK?

We like what we have seen of you so far, you have our respec' and we especially like the way you handle a beachball - you're a cool dude HF!

So, as we are most of the peeple of the Church we want you to listen up and show a bit of dissernment, innit?

Most of us ar reely gud Cafflicks and sum are preests and even deekons, so you gotta listen man.

Now, we need to move with the times and give ourselves a realitty check. We can't no more be nasty to peeple who have extreem affecshuns for goats and cravvats; and if we relly meen we luv eech other we need to let gays guys like other guys and the same for the ladies innit? And the same goes for those who are a bit AC/DC - if yu noe what we meen?

So pleese give us some wimmin preests and let our man preests get married and forget about all that contrasepshun rubbish.

And, if yu could get rid of the Latinistas once and four all yu wuld do us all de big favur.

Yours till the goats come home

Mrs Spud McGillicuddy
Hon Sec A Call to Apostasy (ACTA)