Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Down with "ists"

Are you an "ist?"

Do you know of any?

Perhaps your next door neighbour is an "ist" or, maybe, your Parish Priest is one.

According to one famous blogger, the Dame Edna of the blogging world, "ists" are everywhere and they should be thrown onto a bonfire or racked for a day or two to teach 'em a lesson (no, the Dame did not actually use those words but she is most displeased with "ists" and I have no doubt that she would like to impose some form of modern day punishment upon them).

A good beating about the head with a rolled up copy of the Tablet or a home baked giant cupcake rammed down the throat is more her preferred style of punishment, but back to the "ists".

They are, of course those Catholics who might harbour pious thoughts regarding Fatima and the (whisper it softly) Third Secret.

Some like to speculate that there's more to the Third Secret than meets the eye.

A notorious 'Fatimist'

If you believe that then you're a "Fatimist" and should purge yourself by reading one of the Dame's religious tracts whilst gulping down a gallon of chilli castor oil.
Or, if you seriously wish to punish yourself, just read the tract.

Next on the list of "ists" is the "Latinist".

Sit iucundus tibi dies - infantem!

This has a slightly unwholesome ring to it and conjures up visions of some sinister swivel eyed loon who mutters Latin phrases to himself whereas, as we all know, those who favour Latin as per the EF Mass, are all sensible, attractive types with no vices whatsoever.

Finally, we come to the worst "ist" of the lot. The Lefebvrist or Traditionalist (the Dame and her chums often seem to lump the two together, and why not? They are both "ists").

Traditionalists are really not Catholic at all; they form a sub human level of society somewhere between devil worshippers and heretics (if she only knew).

Dame Edna hates anything with an "ist" attached to it

The illustrious Dame speaks of Traditionalists as if she is describing something nasty found on the sole of her shoe after a walk in the park.

Which leaves me wondering....what does she believe in?

Where does she stand with regard to the Faith?

Yes, yes, I know the answer to that one, it's a well used old saw to say "But I'm just a Catholic" as if that, in today's world, answers everything.

Well, you can dance naked round a pentagram and call yourself a Catholic or you can attend Masses where the celebrant wears sweater and jeans and call yourself one.

We are no longer one, holy, Catholic Church, we are a spectrum of disparate colours and I would much rather be described as an "ist" than as a charismatic.

She has not mentioned 'Modernists', however.

I wonder why?


  1. brilliant!keep writing!god bless.philip johnson.

  2. Richard, tell me, why does Dame dress like a transvestite?

    1. Because he makes money at it!

  3. Thank you Philip.
    Anon......I am not privy to his/her whims, sorry.

  4. Oh YES!! Love your comments. Thank you!!!!!

  5. Weeeeeeellll... I think the Lefebvrist view poses at least one particular problem: Being Catholic, living by the whole of Tradition, requires that one be subject to the authority of the validly elected Pope. Thus far, Lefebvrists do not seem capable of admitting to that part.
    I find it very odd that the SSPX and similar groups act and look more like Catholics have historically, yet fail to live as though they could be held to account.
    Let's remember that "Protestants" in Luther's and Calvin's time..tended to look a lot like Catholics, so even if the "Lefebvrists" LOOK like Catholics, we can't logically refer to them as such.

    1. ...but John, your remarks are somewhat unfair. As a Trad. I have been so distressed by the Licorice Allsorts presented to us at NO Masses around the world, the subsequent lack of respect for the Eucharist etc., that if I did not have the Latin Mass (FSSP) within driving distance I would consider attending a Pius X Mass. Try writing Bishop Fellay - he wishes things could be properly sorted out in Rome - and so do I. We so wish to be One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic again, don't you?

  6. Haha! Great post!


  7. John......you may not be aware that the SSPX order is in union with Rome (a faint union but one that has repealed the excommunication of the Bishops and recognised the validity of their priests to celebrate Holy Mass). Compare the way in which, as you state, they have disregarded the elected Pope with those priests who flaunt Canon Law with regard to abortion, celibacy, homosexuality and the liturgy and you are left with the conclusion (none other can be reached) that the SSPX are Catholic, those who wilfully disobey Rome are not.

    1. Interesting, isn't it, how traditional'ists' get the wrap of being "outside" of the Church, while all sorts of weird liturgical novelties, Catholics for Choice, Elephants in the Room, etc, are never considered "out" by big-wig Catholic media and Catholics who exclusively attend the new mass.

      Just an observation.

      "I would much rather be described as an 'ist' than as a charismatic"
      This cracked me up. I was listening to a Radio Maria program on "charismatic Catholics" and the "charismatic renewal" not too long ago. It was absolutely surprising to hear them actually tell the truth about the history of the movement, because the radio station puts out information very favorable to the "cause." The lady explained that it has it's roots in the Protestant Pentecostal denomination (LOL! -as the son of an ex-pentecostal pastor, I think I'm able to laugh without getting some glares).

      Imagine--the charismatic "renewal" comes from the schismatic, heretical Pentecostals. Sad.

  8. Do you even know what a charismatic is?

  9. Reese Cumming...erm....a silly person?

  10. A Charismatic is a Catholic who wants to be a Protestant. There's no place for charismaniac nonsense in the Catholic Church. Leave in the pentecostal church, where it belongs.


  11. All right, who exactly is this Dame-Edna-type blogger? It would be agreeable if we could have the name of her website, the better to avoid it.

  12. Robert - you would recognise her if you ever came cross her blog.
    Sorry, I can say no more.

  13. Doh! I was hoping you were going to tell us.