But Bishop.......the bridges are closed to traffic....



 

 

.....both Severn bridges are closed due to high winds.......

 

 

....and the M4 motorway has been shut due to massive subsidence.....

 

 

......the side roads are all clogged with cattle and sheep....the natives are restless and putting on their woad.....wild Welsh tribes have come down from the hills.......the Demetians are armed and dangerous........there's an outbreak of smallpox....

 

.......rough gangs roam the countryside.....

 

 

A warm welcome on  the hillside awaits you 

 

.....a meteor is due to hit Carmarthen town on Tuesday morning.....

 

 ....there has been an outbreak of the plague at Pont Abraham.......and a sighting of  herds of African buffalo on the rampage.

 

  So, really Bishop Conry, there's no need to come to give a talk in Carmarthen next Tuesday....we only have your personal safety at heart.

 

We would hate it if you came to any harm (yes, really)...it would be most inadvisable to travel under these conditions.......

 

 .....and, anyway,  people are pulling out after your latest remarks about the Holy Father.

 

So, you see, you would only be talking to yourself.

 

 But then, you're used to that.