Sorry - you can't have eggs/bread/milk/EF Mass....because......

.......THERE'S NO CALL FOR IT!

Do you suffer from the same syndrome as me? When you go into a shop or a restaurant and ask for something that should be available on a daily basis and the blood pressure rises when you get the response: "Sorry, there's no call for it".

Nothing is guaranteed to produce a fit of the vapours faster than some jobsworth stating this to me. I have just b****y well called for it! And it's not like asking for, you know....well, buffalo eggs or a Spanish cucumber.....it's an item that should be available.

I think that His Grace, Archbishop Mario Conti of Glasgow might need a wee nudge in the direction of responding to customer demand the call of the laity. He has just issued, in an Ad Clerum to his clergy, a statement to the effect that no one wants the Extraordinary Form of Mass. H/T to Damian Thompson for this.

Here is how the Archbishop phrased his strange statement...

"Some have argued that the options opened to those who hark back to the old Mass provide an example of how personal preferences can be indulged. The Holy Father and those who advise him have decided to make the old Mass, the so-called Tridentine, or pre-Vatican II, more available to the faithful for pastoral reasons; that is something we must respect. However, even with the most recent instruction from Ecclesia Dei, there is no requirement or indeed encouragement for any of us to promote the so called Extraordinary Form. I venture to suggest that there is no call for it, or pastoral reason to change what has become the settled practice of the Archdiocese, which I read as contentment and indeed appreciation of the pastoral advantages of Mass in the vernacular, and in a form which is less mysterious than at least some aspects of what my generation can recall of the “old” Mass. There is, and I now speak frankly, a difference between mysterious and mystery. The mystery of the Mass is, to the wonderment of the priest and people, the presence of God in the sacrificial offering of the Body and Blood of His Son’s humanity, effective through the ministry of those called to be priests, ministering at the altar where the gifts of the faithful of bread and wine are laid. The awesomeness of the holy exchange can be manifested in the way in which we celebrate the Mass, avoiding all that could triviliase the sacred, without any extravagant gestures, but on the contrary taking advantage of the rich potential within the rites themselves to enchance the significance of what we do by way of the dignity of our actions, the singing of those parts of the Mass which are marked for song and wearing vestments of noble simplicity".

It is a masterclass in damning with faint praise (the highlights are Damian's by the way).
This man must have been made from the same mould as Bishop Burns of Menevia, he's excellent at innuendo and double entendres also.

I find it offensive, disloyal and disobedient.

If His Grace ran an ice cream parlour, would it just sell vanilla?

Archbishop Mennini, get out the birch please!

An informal insight into the new translation

I am guilty of not following, in any detail, the development and launch of the new translation. Not because I am not interested it's just that I think I am on the right bus (is this a good analogy?) and so tend not to look at the other routes.

I welcome the fact that the old and banal translation is out the door but that's as far as my knowledge goes until I met an old priest friend recently. He has his feet pretty firmly in the 'Ordinary' camp although, he does, at times celebrate the Extraordinary Mass.

He explained to me that he had been, in his words, "trying out the new translation". He went on to say how it had immediately begun to transform the atmosphere in the church.
"We have silence again, it is returning to reverence, the congregation is quiet"

He waxed lyrical; welcoming the return of the word 'soul' as in 'Lord I am not worthy to receive you, say but the word and (I) my soul shall be healed'.
Without using the word soul, he said, people forget that they possess one.
And the saints have returned; if their names are not present in the Mass then we forget to pray to them!

And then he changed tack and said: "What is it with the Bishops?" Now I try to tread a diplomatic line (believe it or not) when it comes to upsetting wise old priests so I looked blank (not hard) and said: "What about the Bishops?"
Then he, of course, went into how Friday abstinence was coming back and also how they were re-thinking some of the Holy Days ("and they only made that decision two years ago"). "Just what is going on?" He asked.
"I think that the Holy Father has been doing great work" Says I, meaning every word of it.
"Yes" he responded "but what else?"

"I believe that we are witnessing the  Holy Spirit  at work"

"Come Holy Ghost, Creator come..."

"Precisely!" said he and his whole face lit up with great joy that was wonderful to see.

I found his comments interesting to say the least and I shall pay much more attention to how the new translation is introduced and how it develops. I do not think that I will ever budge from my EF seat but I might, just might, be tempted to see what a "new new" Mass is like at some stage in the future.
I say that without any intent of sounding patronising.

If D-Day had failed where would we be today?

06.30 hours 6th June 1944 and allied troops began landing on the flat, sandy Normandy beaches. Many were to die that day, mown down by machine gun fire from the German clifftop positions and pillboxes.
Many did not even set foot on dry land before they were hit or drowned in the cold waters.

American troops landing on D-Day

I once heard a young Frenchman state derogatively that "The British and Americans invaded France" - I pointed out to him the difference between invasion and liberation but, it has to be said that the significance of this recent and dramatic event in the Second World War is rapidly being eroded. It was, for the allies, the beginning of the turning point in the war, if we had failed, it is highly likely that many of us would not be here today. Great Britain would be an island colony of slave workers producing food and goods for the Fatherland. There would be no immigrant populations, no NHS and, probably no religion other than the totalitarian Nazi ideology.

North America would, I guess, have withdrawn within its borders and the combined US and Canadian forces, kept the Nazis at bay. Who knows?

What is certain is the fact that we owe a very great debt to those young US, Canadian and other allied troops who gave their lives for a cause that many did not fully comprehend - 'For their tomorrow we gave our today' are words writ large over the many cemeteries of Normandy.

         PRAYER BEFORE A BATTLE

More than ever I feel the need of having Thee close to me. At any moment I may find myself in battle. However rigorous the task that awaits me, may I fulfill my duty with courage. If death should overtake me on this field, grant that I die in the state of grace, forgive me all my sins, those I have forgotten and those I recall now: grant me the grace of perfect contrition.

On a Mass, a liturgical dance and the slaughter of some innocents

Yesterday's Mass was celebrated by the Monsignor and, in the absence of our regular (and talented) young altar server, I was drafted into the role.

The temperature was high and the sanctuary airless but all was serene and calm as I awaited the M's descent from the top step to the foot of the altar for the Ad Deum qui laetificat.

Until.......at the bottom step some impish hand had pulled the carpet out so that it stood a good six inches proud of the step; it was, in fact, a faux step and the poor Monsignor went into freefall. I went, automatically, to save him and we both clutched at each other like drowning sailors in some grotesque liturgical dance.

Being the good man that he is the M recovered, kicked the carpet into place and commenced the Mass. I had broken out into a sweat at the prospect of him breaking a hip and the subsequent ambulance and hoo hah. My concentration and composure had gone and I struggled throughout the Mass to keep a grip on things. At the Orate fratres I noticed (oh, horror) that the top step had been similarly rigged and that the M's feet were no more than 8 inches away from yet another faux step. He was certainly heading for a fall. By now I had developed a nasty twitch above my right eyebrow and  had a throbbing pain in my temples. My mind went into overdrive trying to foresee an opportunity when he might leave the altar so that I could put the carpet back in place. For a second I thought that he might proceed to the tabernacle but then remembered that he carried the unconsecrated wafers with him onto the sanctuary. No hope.
As the moment of Holy Communion approached I devised the only plan open to me. I would whisper to the M before I received the host, that the step was dodgy. Not a very reverent way to receive the Body of Christ but better than remaining silent and the M going flying together with the Blessed Sacrament.

I knelt on the top step (unable to kick it into place as the M was standing on the main section of carpet). As he approached me with the host I hissed at him (in order that there could be no confusion caused by a mumbled whisper), to "watch out for the top step." The poor man recoiled in horror at this unseemly hiss but recovered and avoided the pitfall while I dutifully, kicked the carpet back into place.
The throbbing and twitch were now of mammoth proportions but we got through the rest of the Mass without incident.

Arriving home we found that the Collie dog from the farm opposite had breached our garden defences and had run amok amongst our prize flock of Old English game bantams. All but two had disappeared and bodies lay strewn around the orchard.

Some of these were
among the fatalities

It took but just half a second to change from a 'full of grace' post Mass feeling to one of maniacal anger. I regressed several hundred years and took on the characteristic of an Irish/Scots Gallowglass intent on driving out the English/Viking villains. I picked up a fork and my Irish temperament came to the fore as I hurled it at the brute of a murdering hound. 'Twas my English temperament that caused me to miss target and merely strike it a glancing blow. I am glad, in the cold light of day I would not wish to injure an animal in this way.

Now some may consider an affection for chickens to be a paltry (sigh) affair but, in the absence of a cat or dog, they are our indulgence.
Then the visit to the farmer opposite and the fruitless task of trying to count up the dead and missing. Most appeared to be missing and the farmer was quick to offer compensation but money would be as dry as dust after the ten years of breeding and rearing that went into producing the 25 beautiful bantams that have graced our patch of land for that time. I counselled waiting for a few days to see how many return and then I shall ask for the dog to be destroyed. And if that seems somehat biblical in its retributive context let me explain. Having killed once and tasted the thrill of the hunt, the brute will return. It spends most of its life at the end of a chain in a concreted farm yard. On rare occasions it is allowed off the chain. I make no judgements, it is a working dog, not a pet.

It will have to face the penalty of any stock killer; the biological solution. The only redeeming factor for us is that it will put an end to the problem.

So Sunday evening found me somewhat out of salts and my wife suggested, indeed commanded, that I read a passage from The Imitation of Christ. Now it is a common held belief that, whatever page you open this book at you will find reference to your particular problem of the minute and so it was:-


...When you think that you are a long way from Me, I am often quite near; when you imagine that everything is lost, you are often on the point of acquiring great merit. Everything is not lost just because something has gone wrong. You must never judge by what you may happen to be feeling; and whenever life is proving difficult for any reason whatsoever, you must not abandon hope and behave as if things would never improve. Do not imagine you have been utterly abandoned, even if I send you distress for a time, or take away some comfort. That is what the journey to the heavenly kingdom involves.......
...What I have given, I can take away, and I can give it back again when it pleases Me. When I have given it, it is still Mine; when I take it back, I am not removing anything of yours.
Whatever gifts are worth having, whatever endowments are perfect of their kind, they are all Mine....

Cardinal Burke's withdrawal - a sad loss

In his letter cancelling the engagement, Cardinal Raymond Burke cited Pro Ecclesia et Pontifice's critical remarks on the Bishops of England and Wales.



Cardinal Raymond Burke - "Not right
for me to give a presentation in any place which
in any way would reflect the lack of respect
for the office of Bishop in that place"



Comments such as..... “our bishops are obdurate in their refusal to allow our glorious Catholic faith to be taught in our schools” were the main cause of His Eminence's decision to cancel. He saw the proposed talk, quite rightly, as being an excellent opportunity for PEeP to lambast the Bishops.

Now, I am all for lambasting Bishops if they deserve it but, this was a golden opportunity to provide a platform for the Cardinal to speak, equably on the chosen subject, "The Restoration of Church Discipline and Evangelisation."

If the pre talk PR had not been so focused on bashing the Bishops, Cardinal Burke would still be planning to come. It does seem as if Daphne Macleod has shot herself in the foot on this occasion. Such a pity. Such a loss.

Mrs Macleod defended her stance by stating that they (PEeP) were "whistleblowers" and, as a result had enemies. Next time, if there is one, "Softly, softly catchee monkey" is not a bad maxim to observe.

HOW DO YOU RATE AS A CATHOLIC?

Just what sort of a Catholic are you?

Fill in this self-assessment form to find the answer…….

Q1. It is the beginning of the Offertory do you……

a)     Have an overwhelming desire to rush up to the sanctuary and perform an
    elaborate liturgical waltz?    *

b)     Start fumbling in your pocket looking for the smallest denomination coin available?    *

c)      Commence silent preparations for the

     moment of consecration?  *

Q2. Your CD selection in your car comprises…….

a)     ‘Shine Jesus shine’ and other modern hymns for ecumenical swingers   *

b)     Charlotte Church singing ‘Ave Maria’  *

c)      Plainchant  *

Q3.  There’s a knock on your door and it’s a Baptist Minister looking for converts. Do you………….

a)     Give him a hug and tell him we are all one in the brotherhood of man?  *

b)     Tell him you are house sitting for a friend?  *

c)      Involve him in a debate on the one true Church?  *

Q4. You meet your local PP in the supermarket and he’s dressed in three quarter length jeans with a suede jacket. Do you….

a)     Wave and call out “Hi Jimmy”?  *

b)     Ask him where he bought the suede jacket?  *

c)      Remind him that there is a requirement for a priest to wear clerical dress on such occasions and that, anyway, his dress sense is crap?  *

Q5.  It’s Sunday and you are ill in bed. A knock at the door reveals an
       EMHC bringing you Holy Communion. Do you………………

a)     Say ‘Come on up’ and hold out your hand?  *

b)     Call out that you have bubonic plague and that it may be catching?  *

c)      Ask him/her to first hear your confession?  *

Q6. Your PP announces that he is going to hold a ‘Clown Mass’ to bring in more
people and make the Mass more inclusive. Do you…..

a)     Look out your old Coco the Clown outfit?  *

b)     Tell him that you are coulrophobic ? *

c)      Thumb through the Catholic Directory to look for another

Parish?  *

Q7. You are asked to write an article about your hobbies/interests for the parish mag. Do you…….

a)     Submit a fascinating thesis on why you believe that women   
       should be priests?  *

b)     Draft out 500 words on your stamp collection?  *

c)      Write how you first became interested in burning heretics?  *

Q8.   EWTN are running an amazing series on Catholic dishes that take 
         minutes
          to prepare. Do you…….

a)     Set your TV selection to come on at the right day and time?  *

b)     Switch to Rick Stein’s Far East Odyssey?  *

c)      Go down the pub?  *

Q9. You notice a pile of copies of The Tablet (NCR) at the back of the
       Church.
       Do you…..

a)     Eagerly put some cash in the box and walk out with a copy?  *

b)     Look around to see if The Catholic Times is available?  *

c)      Pick up all copies of The Tablet and bin them?   *

Q10. The Bishop writes you a letter inviting you to sit on a Diocesan 
         Advisory
         Panel. Do you…….

a)     Suffer a bout of incontinence and hastily hand deliver a
       letter of acceptance?  *

b)     Reply stating that you would be most honoured?  *

c)      Faint?  *

SCORING:

All a)s count as five points, b)s as ten and c)s as fifteen –

Now, if your score was in the range of 50 to 80 please
take a seat while I tell you that you really belong in a happy
 clappy new age sort of church. You don’t have the foggiest
 idea as to what the Catholic Church is about and you
have no intention of finding out but you do enjoy self
indulgence. Recommended treatment: A 2 week retreat
on Papa Stronsay and flagellation twice daily.

If you scored over 80 but below 140 you definitely fall
into the CINO category (Catholic In Name Only). You
sit on the fence whilst going through the motions of
 loyalty to the Magisterium, you probably read
Mgr Basil Loftus and your favourite tipple would
be Shandy Lite!

140 plus and you are definitely on the right track
although it may not feel like it most of the time.
You actually relish attending Mass and yearn for
Benediction more than only when there is an ‘r’ in
 the month.

You drink either red wine or Reverend James Bitter
 (OK, any real ale) and you punctuate a conversation
 with phrases such as ‘diochronicity’ ‘supernatural
 existential’ and ‘the hermeneutic of continuity’.

And if you score 150! You are truly one of the
 extraordinarii!

Whatever happened to priestly OCD?

Now I blame Vatican II for many things but it would be a little OTT to hang this one on the poor old Council. I am talking about an obsessive compulsive disorder that was once common among priests - incessant hand washing. You hardly ever hear of it these days but I knew several priests and even one Auxiliary Bishop who suffered with this and, seemingly, never found a way of ceasing the hideous practice which produced countless painful side effects such as psoriasis, eczema and dermatitis.

One does not need to be a psychoanalyst to comprehend the reasons why clerics often suffered from this, although, I guess that, today, some pretty nasty reasons might be levelled in the wake of the child abuse scandals. The reason then (and it was well accepted in Catholic circles) was that an imbalanced view of worthiness developed and was linked, of course, to the physical handling of the Body and Blood of Christ. The priest did not feel 'clean' enough, on a daily basis, to take the Body of Christ between thumb and forefinger and then to proceed to distribute the Eucharist to the mouths of the kneeling faithful.
It is a very comprehensible disorder and a very disruptive one for the priest because the handwashing exercise would manifest itself every few minutes and, very often, the hands that would hold the Sacred Host the next day at Mass, would be red raw and bleeding by the end of the day.

There was no help available, of course, I am sure that the view of the Canon observing his curate's fetish type habit would be to say: "Pull yourself together and cut it out at once Father!" Not very helpful but, there were quite a few bad things about the days before Vat II. In some instances, those who committed suicide were not allowed to be buried in consecrated ground - very hard and now, happily, a thing of the past.

When Pilate washed his hands it was
for a very different reason!

So why is it apparently absent today? I believe that we are more relaxed in respect of the Blessed Sacrament today and that this easy going attitude has rubbed off on the priest (after all, most priests will have a coven bevy of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion to aid him in the time consuming and laborious task of distributing Holy Communion to all those hordes who await with hands outstretched. No OCD amongst that lot, their hands were probably peeling spuds or throwing darts down the local the night before......ahem.

Of course, do not misunderstand me, it is a good thing that priests do not suffer with this complaint so much these days; it is just an interesting reflection on how time changes observance.

I have a book written by a Herefordshire Catholic woman in the early 19th century and, in those days they would begin preparation for the Sacrament of Confession a full three days before the priest was due to call. Each day would be a blend of prayer, silence, meditation and examination of conscience.....but no handwashing!

The Mass - unchanged throughout the centuries!

"When the priest sayeth his Mass at the altar, commonly there is an image before him, and commonly it is a crucifix, stone or wood or protrayed.

For every Mass is a special remembrance of Christ's passion, and therefore he hath before him a crucifix to enable him to have the more fresh remembrance, as he ought to, of Christ's Passion.
Before this image the priest says his Mass, and makes the highest prayers the holy Church can devise for the salvation of the quick and the dead.
He holds up his hands, he bows, or else he kneels down, and all the worship he can do, he does.

Moreover, he offers up the highest sacrifice and the best offering that anyone can devise, that is Christ, God's Son of Heaven, under the form of bread and wine.
All this worship does the priest at Mass before the image".

From "Dives and Pauper" printed by Wynken de Worde 1496

Please pray for the soul of Henry Thompson whose Requiem Mass will be held today at St Paul's Church, Haywards Heath

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes and there shall be no more death nor crying nor sorrow for the former things are passed away

The Feast will be celebrated today!

At 12 noon today at The Sacred Heart Church, Morriston, Nr Swansea, Fr Jason Jones will celebrate an EF Mass in honour of the Feast of the Ascension.

  

Grant, we beseech Thee, almighty God,
that we who believe
Thine only-begotten Son our Redeemer,
to have ascended this day into heaven,
may ourselves dwell in spirit amid heavenly things.
 

A little Catholic humour

When God made the world he created a land of pleasant valleys, green fields, flowing rivers full of salmon and sea trout aka sewin, beautiful cliffs and coasts and seas brimming over with fish and seaweed and all good things to eat.
The first people to arrive in this land of plenty were called Welsh and they wondered at the riches that their Creator had made for them. "Truly" they said: "We are blessed that God has so chosen to provide us with such natural wealth".
So impressed were they that they made representation to God and asked Him why they were so providentially blessed.

"Ah" said the Almighty: "You have not yet met the neighbours I have given you!"



And from a book on Primary School howlers comes this one:

" The two main religions of Ireland are Catholics and Prostitutes"

Modern kiss of peace has its origins in Freemasonry!

I always thought it!

A little parity for Wales?

Now as I am English (or maybe English with a dash or two of Irish) it may seem strange that I am flying the flag for Wales but, I do have a strong sense of fair play (it's the English part of me) and I notice that just about every blogger...and even the LMS., feature strongly Our Lady of Walsingham and England.
Fine. But, England and Wales are linked not just by the Severn Bridge(s) but also by, what's the phrase?......ecclesiastical union?......you know, the Catholic Bishops Conference is not just England but England and Wales!

Our Lady of Cardigan - pray for parity!

And here in Wales we have, of equal status to Walsingham,
Our Lady of Cardigan, Patron of Wales - Our Lady of the Taper as she is known for an obvious reason - she holds a candle in her right hand.


Admittedly, the shrine is not quite so grand as Walsingham, in fact, it's definitely quite a long way down market compared with Norfolk......I don't know why the Catholic Church in Wales doesn't put a shade more effort into making the shrine a more desirable place to visit....not for me to reason why although I think the word apathy might come into it somewhere. Lack of vision may be another reason.
However, I am drifting off the point, my plea to other bloggers (and to the Latin Mass Society of England and WALES, who may  feature Our Lady of Walsingham on their site), is, please remember Our Lady of the Taper.
And I am sure she will also remember you!