In the end, most of us will burn

Regular readers of this scurrilous blog will know that I do like the odd shocking headline.
It's the adolescent in me you see?

But also, I must admit, it does help to raise the level of interest in the post in question.

Of course, I don't do it for that reason, what sort of a person do you think I am?  Don't answer that, please.

So, an end to aimless literary rambling and a quick scene shift to the issue in question; death.

Or, rather, what happens to us after we die.

 

What's it to be? Flame grilled?



As an inveterate reader of The Daily Telegraph obituary columns, no, not to see if my entry is there, I still retain a few grey cells, but  more out of interest to see who has 'stretched their paws' as Signor Mundabor so gently puts it.

And one thing comes through loud and clear; whether the entry is for a Catholic, Methodist or Bush Born Baptist, most elect for the quick visit to the 'crem' rather than the burial in a cemetery.

Last year, my good friend A Reluctant Sinner posted on a certain bishop who had died and been cremated and he commented mildly at how surprised he was at that fact.

He was, I believe, inundated with some rather nasty comments; it appears that liberal Catholics prefer the gas ovens while most orthodox Catholics opt for the gentle return of the bodily remains to the earth.
This, in turn gave rise to the new hymn "Feed the Worms" (apologies to Bro Eccles).

But we do (those of us who prefer the prospect of a 6x6x2 hole in the ground) like to think of the body as a temple, given to us by God and returned to Him in one piece; not flame grilled a la Burger King and as the Freemasons suggest.

At a rough estimate I believe that something like 80% will go for the burn, 10% for the burial and a further 10% don't know. Well, not so much "don't know" as "don't specify".

Since plucking these figures out of thin air (I'm rather good at that) I have researched the matter online and find that, in 2010, some 493,000 deaths were registered, of which 73% went to the crematorium.

That is pretty close to my guesstimate.

Of course, being a cynic, I think that the reason for these figures lies more in economic than environmental concerns.

To be cremated you will pay as little as £800 while, to be buried it can cost upward of £5,000.

Personally, I like the sort of arrangement I came across whilst visiting the States some years ago.
The township of Concord, Massachussetts had a rather attractive and very natural spread of parkland with graves discreetly planted either side of the pathways. Of course, there were no eight feet high marble angels or plaster statues of the saints, just small slate headstones on every plot.

Provided that the ground was sanctified in accord with the rites of Holy Mother Church, that arrangement would suit me very well. A most natural and harmonious end to life on earth.
And for the dog walkers, the joggers and roller bladers, it would provide a very neat reminder along the lines of the grim reaper and his phrase: "Tonight, maybe?"

Much better than being reduced to an urn in a Garden of Remembrance that no one remembers.