Remember the 'ton-up' Vicar?

You know, back in the 60s when Vicars thought they were being trendy by being one of the boys, riding around on 500cc Motor bikes, dressing in leathers and meeting up with the gang in various cafes along the A1. Or, sometimes you would see them standing outside a pub on a summer evening, shooting the talk with fellow bikers and quaffing a daring half pint of shandy.

If the words Wincarnis, Complan and afternoon nap have some resonance with you, the chances are that you will recall these vicars who thought that they could be trendy and pull in a few souls to join their dwindling congregations by being part of the mob. I do not think that any of the vicars actually converted a Hell's Angel into a Heaven's Angel; it just does not work that way.
Familiarity, in this case, definitely breeds contempt.

Despite having this model of getting things wrong in front of them there are some in the Catholic Church who have gone the same way. Priests who believe that they will only be accepted by putting on a shell suit and trainers or, who get rid of their schola in favour of a bit of a rock 'n' rolla choir. Silly chaps! Don't they know that one of the reasons that people go to church is to escape the everyday and the banal?

There is a rather wonderful blog called The Little Way and today's post about a priest who ad libs at Mass is well worth reading.
It falls into the same category as the ton up vicar syndrome; bring sacred worship down to the lowest common denominator and you drive people away from the Faith - not difficult to comprehend is it?

Why would a priest not wish to celebrate Mass everyday?

I have been following James Preece's posts on how Liturgy of the Word type ceremonies appear to becoming a normal part of Catholic worship, even to the point of usurping the Mass. One comment posed the question: "What is going on at Arundel Cathedral on Mondays?" so, without further ado I had a peek to see exactly what was what down in leafy Sussex.

The real Liturgy of the Word made Flesh!

Sure enough, there are no Monday Masses, just the good old Liturgy of the Word as per the web details:-

'Mondays 10am : Liturgy of the Word and Holy Communion in the Cathedral'

I have never been to a Liturgy of the Word ermm....ritual?......service (sounds a bit garagey)......observance...convention...routine (thank you Roget!) so I don't really know what goes on but I can make a shrewd guess.

The issue really is, why would a Cathedral of all places, with three priests on site, have a day without Mass? Is it because they have celebrated a few over the weekend (Masses, I mean) and think that they can take a break on Mondays? Why would any priest worth his salt wish to give up an opportunity to say Mass; to be in such intimate contact with Christ?
It's beyond me. I decided to do an instant market research exercise to see how many other Cathedrals have gone down this road; I interrogated about 6 of their website before ennui set in.
Only one offered a LoW service and that was for children...to save the little dears from being isolated and distanced at Mass (yuk!)
Three guesses which Cathedral it was......South of England......name begins with P........Mr Inwood in residence.......yup, it was Portsmouth!

Here is how they try to justify what I believe is a grave and foolish error...

Why have a separate Liturgy of the Word with Children?
The Directory on Children’s Masses (1973) reminds us that we need to ensure that children at Mass ‘do not feel neglected because of their inability to participate or to understand what happens and what is proclaimed in the celebration’ (para17). The Directory therefore suggests the celebration of a separate Liturgy of the Word with the Children (LOWC) in another place so that children are enabled to listen and respond to the Word of God in a way which is appropriate for them.

Liturgy, not catechesis
LOWC is part of Mass, the Liturgy of the Word in simplified form. During it, children are given opportunities to hear and respond to the Word of God in ways which are suited to their age and ability. LOWC is a celebration of the Word of God, not a teaching session, sacramental preparation class or a crèche. ‘The final purpose of all liturgical and eucharistic formation must be a greater and greater conformity to the gospel in the daily life of the children’ (Directory for Masses with Children para 15).

What complete and utter tosh! I feel quite nauseous, so sorry to inflict it upon you, dear reader. I recall reading one of Mulier Fortis's posts from her recent pilgrimage to Lourdes. In it Mac recounted how Fr Tim Finigan gave a running commentary to children attending a 'catechetical' Mass whilst another priest celebrated it.
This seems so very sound and sensible. How on earth are children going to love the Mass if they are separated from it? How are adults going to for that matter?

And that is what the LoW does; it separates one from the truth; it makes the need to attend Mass less apparent...it is, in reality, quite a Protestant type of solution to a perceived 'problem', it ain't Catholic!

Would you eat a spider for Christ?

That may count as an attention grabbing headline but it does refer to today's feast, that of St Richard of Chichester and my patron saint, of course, not that I stand a chance of anything in the way of a celeb. as it all goes in the direction of 'Mother' today! And quite right too.



Not many Bishops could swallow a spider!

 St Richard, according to legend, was celebrating Holy Mass when, at the point of him consuming the chalice containing the Precious Blood, a large and somewhat hirsute spider fell from the ceiling into the chalice. Now this is the dilemma that those in favour of communion under both kinds may have to face. What to do in the event of a spillage or, in this instance, a spider falling into the chalice. There is no way that you may remove the Sacred Species from carpet fibres and certainly no way that you could extract a spider without profaning the same Species.
St Richard, of course, being a man of decisive and correct action, did not hesitate for one split second; he proceeded to consume the Blood of Our Lord, spider and all! What a man!
Now I have eaten ants, bees, grasshoppers and scorpions (anyone travelling to China will have done the same) but I am very grateful that a spider en croute was never dished up before me, I would have had to demur.

Prayer of St Richard.....

Thanks be to you, our Lord Jesus Christ,
for all the benefits which you have given us,
for all the pains and insults which you have borne for us.
Most merciful Redeemer, Friend and Brother,
may we know you more clearly,
love you more dearly,
and follow you more nearly,
day by day.
Amen.



The EF Mass - it's not rocket science you know!

Young priests who harbour a desire to offer up the Mass of all Time but are worried that their confreres may hold them up to ridicule can learn how to celebrate it in under one week in private.
I was rifling through old press cuttings recently and came across a letter published either in The Daily Telegraph or, possibly, The Catholic Herald c. 2003.

It was from a Father Julian Large of The Oratory in London. I do not know Fr Large but he is obviously a good man and my kind of priest; here is his letter:-

Sir - I never passed a driving test, I do not ski and I can hardly swim. My violin teacher advised me to give up all hope of learning to play any musical instrument on my second lesson. I failed Maths  O-level twice, and my French makes Parisian waiters wince.

I did, however, manage to teach myself how to celebrate the Traditional Mass. It took one week reading J O'Connell's 'The Celebration of Mass' and practising on the desk in my room, and an hour's dry-run with a patient priest the day before my ordination in 2003.
It can't be so difficult.

Ends/..................

For any priest or seminarian interested 'The Celebration of the Mass' is available on Amazon at c. £20 or, secondhand copies sometimes available from John Bevan at Catholic Books.
Also, today there are many DVDs that take you through the process, step by step.

                                          IT CAN'T BE SO DIFFICULT!