A little levity to lighten your day....What five things will you not find in a Monastery?

The trouble is, this bon mot is partially lost in a lump of sludge that serves me for a brain. I am hopeful that a worldly reader will fill in the gaps.

Question: What five things will you not find in a monastery?

Answer:

A quiet Dominican
A humble Benedictine
A clean Franciscan
plus two more....help!

I have an idea that the missing two orders are  Jesuits and  Carmelites...could be interesting guessing at the adjective that is required....unless you are a Jesuit or a Carmelite!
Memory seems to guide me to Honest and Truthful but I may be doing both orders a disservice......all suggestions gratefully received.

Joke of the week - a Jewish one

 A good joke, to lighten Advent's penitential air,  it comes courtesy of Thomas Peters of American Papist fame.

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year …to absorb the culture.

When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel….and by the way, I converted to Christianity.”
“Oy vey,” said the father. “What have I done?” He took his problem to his best friend, Ike.
“Ike,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel , and he came home a Christian.  What can I do?”
“Funny you should ask,” said Ike. “I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.”
So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.
“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi. “I, too, sent my son to Israel , and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people!?!”
And so they went to temple and all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.
As they finished their prayer, a Voice came from the Heavens:
“Funny you should ask,” said the Voice…
“I, too, sent my Son to Israel....